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One the staples of the site throughout the last year has been the breakdowns of the ‘insufferable’ marriage announcements from The New York Times. Well, these are the best and it’s not even close.
This piece on two hipsters went certified viral and took down our site for about two days because the servers couldn’t handle the traffic. Yeah, that’s how insufferable they were.
The one that kicked them all off and made me think, “Hey, these marriage announcements are super corny and need to get broken down.” And it was all downhill from there.
A former ‘Bachelor’ contestant that lives the preppiest lifestyle of all-time? Yeah, I think that’s going to be a good read.
There are two separate themes in a lot of these weddings: hipsters and loads of cash. These two had both.
The first paragraph discusses guitar lessons and a “Fabergé Big Egg Hunt” which is probably the whitest thing I’ve ever heard of.
After the original hipster post went viral, things started taking a turn for the better over at The New York Times and I stopped doing breakdowns every week. But this one made me come out of retirement.
This guy dumped his high school girlfriend before heading off to college, which is a classic dude move for any guy that wants to be unchained throughout his college career rather than spend endless nights on the phone with his girlfriend.
But really, what kind of assholes have two weddings?
An agent marrying an actress? Yeah, no one in the industry has ever heard of that happening. Can’t imagine that would help her career at all.
This dude said his Match.com profile was fake even though we all know it was completely real and he was trying to get some strange on the side.
I… I don’t even know anymore. I hate everyone and everything. .