The 10 Best Characters From ’10 Things I Hate About You’

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Many of you spending your TV time binging on whatever the hot thing is on Netflix, and while I don’t begrudge your prestige television, I generally spend my downtime watching one of two things:. 1.) SVU reruns or 2.) late 90s/early 2000s teen movies. I thought that I may have been the only one who indulged in these classics on a regular basis, but then this was said in my group chat in response to a random comment about flyers:

Flyers for what? Bogey Lowenstein’s party on Friday?

And all of us knew exactly what that meant. And it was then that I discovered my secret love of these films may be shared with more people than I thought. So instead of hiding my love of teen movies/light under a bushel (bonus points if you know what one that line’s from), I’m going to share it with all of you, starting with one of the greatest of all time – 10 Things I Hate About You.

Since there’s a number in the title, obviously it made the most sense to count down ten of something. There are many possible choices – Shakespeare references (the movie is based on his Taming of The Shrew), one-liners, or even Kat zingers – but since this movie had some fantastic characters, why not start there? And yes, you’ll notice that the loathsome Joey Donner is not included in this list – there could only be 10 characters included in order to keep in alignment with the title, so sorry, Mr.Donner.

10.) Bianca Stratford (played by Larisa Oleynik)

Yes, the younger Stratford sister redeemed herself from her superficial ways by the end of the film, but given that she spent 92 of the film’s 99 minutes being the literal worst, she’s in last place and she’s staying here.

9.) Bogey Lowenstein (played by Kyle Cease)

Bogey, whose small gathering of khaki clad nerds turned into the staple rager of all teen movies, was a minor but important character. So important that when the aforementioned group chat comment was made, six of us responded with this:

via GIPHY

Honorable mention to Nigel. I’m not sure if he ever arrived with the brie, but I’m a fan of anyone that brings cheese to a party.

8.) Mr. Morgan (played by Daryl Mitchell)

Not only does Mr. Morgan not take any of his English students’ shit, he also raps Shakespeare. Where was this guy when I was in high school?

7.) Ms. Perky (played by Allison Janney)

Yes, the principal who loved cats and wrote erotica was named Ms. Perky, and yes, the woman who played her has an Oscar now.

6.) Chastity Church (played by Gabrielle Union)

Honestly, whoever named the characters in this movie is an overlooked genius. While she turned out to be a backstabbing bitch in this particular film, it can’t be disregarded that Ms. Dwayne Wade appeared in some of the best teen movies ever, including 10 Things I Hate About You, She’s All That, and Bring It On – not to mention the greatest movie of all time – Bad Boys II. How does she not have an Oscar already (particularly after this existential question)?!

5.) Katarina “Kat” Stratford (played by Julia Stiles)

You probably expected the shrewish elder Stratford sister to rank higher on my list, didn’t you? Yes, she is the heroine of the movie, but despite her moments of vulnerability (remember the poem scene?), she was pretty much an uber-bitch with a chip on her shoulder for the duration of the film. She’s rude to everyone around her – including her father, her sister, and her saintly best friend Mandella – and the occasional glimpses of softness under the hard candy shell aren’t enough to completely redeem her.

4.) Cameron James (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt)

As a sweet as Cameron is, it’s hard to overlook that he started the entire “get Patrick to date Kat so I can date Bianca” plan. Of course, it all worked out in the end, but what kind of a sociopath comes up with such a plan?

3.) Patrick Verona (played by Heath Ledger)

In all honesty, Patrick was the character I had the most difficulty placing on this list. On one hand, he took Joey’s money to date Kat. On the other, he used said-money to buy Kat a guitar. But given that we have the mutual hobby of watching Wheel of Fortune with our grandparents, I’ve decided he’s redeemable.

2.) Michael Eckman (played by David Krumholtz)

Often, the put-upon best friend is one of the best characters in any teen movie, and this one is no different. Michael is an audio-visual nerd assigned to show around new kid Cameron, and quickly becomes his best friend/co-schemer, which could have made him as annoying as Cameron. But for some reason, he’s adorbs – particularly when he was romancing Kat’s BBF with *gasp* Shakespeare *gasp*.

1.) Walter Stratford (played by Larry Miller)

He’s down. He’s got the 411. His mama didn’t raise no fool. His daughters aren’t going out and getting jiggy with some guy, no matter how dope his ride is, so he can sleep the deep slumber of a man whose daughters aren’t out getting impregnated.

But seriously, the doctor whose insurance doesn’t cover PMS and who is up to his elbows in placenta all day long only wants the best for his daughters, even if it means outlawing kissing, drinking, drugs, tattoos, piercings and ritual animal sacrifice while making his daughter wear a pregnancy party before going to a party.

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Jenna Crowley

Jenna used to be known as 2NOTBrokeGirls, but then one of the girls actually went broke, so she's struck out on her own. Jenna spends her free time saving the world, one sorority girl at a time (usually while wearing yoga pants), questioning why she decided to get a doctorate, documenting her love of all things cheese related, and hosting the new PGP podcast Don't Take It From Us. You can ask her anything you want about football, using your boobs to get what you want, and pizza at @JennaLCrowley on Twitter or via email at JennaLCrowley@gmail.com.

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