Target Wants You To Get Drunk At Their Stores Now

Target Wants You To Get Drunk At Their Stores Now

Some life-altering news has come from Target: they are exploring the idea of allowing all of us to drink beer and wine while we get our shop on.

Per Grub Street:

It sounds like Tarjay wants to try giving stores a dose of la sophistication (that’s French for sophistication): The company confirms that a new store opening next month in Chicago has applied for a liquor license that would let shoppers drink glasses of beer or vino from, say, tables at an in-store café. Target isn’t saying much about the concept yet, but it dovetails pretty well with recently announced plans to make grocery sections more upscale, partly by improving what’s sold under its private-label brands.

Sign. Me. Up.

You know, I’ve always felt slightly uncomfortable walking around the grocery store taking white wine pulls from my 24-ounce Tervis tumbler, so Target legitimizing this practice is music to my ears. When I wake up on Sunday with a refrigerator that’s solely filled with a half-eaten pizza and leftovers from the previous Wednesday, the last thing I want to do is get off the couch and take my hungover blob of a body to the store to pick up some basics. But now that I can induce the shampoo effect and get my swerve on legally, my game has changed.

Gone are the days when you could use your hangover or happy hour as an excuse to get out of going to Target with your girlfriend or significant other. We now live in a world where weed is pretty much legal everywhere, and it’s socially acceptable to buy underwear in public while simultaneously sipping on an IPA. Now here’s to hoping no one judges you when you Uber to and from Target because you’re worried about getting too drunk to drive home.

[via Grub Street]

Image via Shutterstock

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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