Stop Playing Giant Jenga At Bars

Stop Playing Giant Jenga At Bars

Giant Jenga isn’t necessarily a new trend, but I do see it popping up in more and more places, specifically at bars. You know, in areas where real estate is generally a scarce resource and there are hundreds of drunk people stumbling around. I’ve had enough with this game. It’s time to stop.

I get that Jenga was dope when you were six years old and still developing fine motor skills. It was quite the feeling of satisfaction watching your opponent pull that little block out and having his hopes and dreams come crashing down to the dining room floor only to yell “Loser cleans it up!” as you walk over to the fridge for your fourth freeze pop of the day. Nostalgia holds high value in my book these days, so I can understand that. We are talking about me, whose Twitter largely consists of Pokemon Go for the past two weeks and who has created a Bumble BFF profile to find fellow squad members. So yeah, I appreciate the sentimental value of the game. What I don’t appreciate is having this fucking game litter every decent bar in the area.

Getting a drink is difficult enough as it is in a crowded bar. I should not have to tip=toe around you and your group of friends that have monopolized prime real estate for your silly game. You all are taking up way too much space. I could fit a crew of twelve in that spot if you weren’t all watching Jimmy Jenga pull a risky bottom tier block with an IPA in his hand. It’s really just a matter of being considerate to your fellow patrons.

And another thing that irks me is the sound of failure. There is nothing quite like the noise of 54 wooden blocks smashing on the floor followed shortly by the screams of everyone within earshot. I’m not trying to have a heart attack here, people. The RBVs are doing enough damage to my cardiac health as it is. I don’t need my heart to skip a couple beats when your drunk ass slips up and pulls the wrong block. Some people like uninterrupted conversation, and you’re inevitably going to ruin that for me.

Some things just aren’t as fun when you get older and I don’t understand how Jenga would be an exception to this. I’m sure you would have just as much fun doing normal things that people do at bars. Like drink. Or watch the game. Or try to get laid. Which I can be confident that most people are not looking toward the Jenga tower for their next mistake for the evening.

The bars clearly put these setups in their establishment for a reason. They also will serve you shit like cement mixers and prairie fires if you ask them to, so just because it is available doesn’t mean you have to utilize it. You do you, but please take your Jenga elsewhere.

Image via Instagram

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Mainer born and raised. Boston sports. Miller Lites. Let's get drunk and eat chicken fingers..

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