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I’m talking to you, girl with the wedding Pinterest board since freshman year. It’s not cute that you already know exactly what you want your bridesmaid dresses to look like. It’s just creepy. It’s time to focus on the here and now or there won’t even be a wedding in your future.
The main problem with planning your big day way too far in the future is scaring off potential mates. If you begin dating a guy and it slips that you’ve already picked your wedding venue, he’s gonna freak out. This dude was afraid of commitment in the first place. Now he knows that your ability to commit to things is far more aggressive than his. This will surefire cause him to run and never look back. And don’t trust yourself to just keep it a secret that you’ve got it all figured out. We all know there’s a valid chance that after three margaritas you’ll ask him if he’s okay with a vegetarian menu for the occasion (which he obviously isn’t, but that’s besides the point).
Don’t go setting your heart on certain aspects of the wedding that most definitely require his opinion. You can’t pick out your first dance song or number of people in the wedding party without the consent of your groom. Remember how this dude doesn’t even exist yet? You also can’t decide what size wedding you want just yet. Your future hubby could be an only child conceived from parents who were only children or he could have four extended families and be one of eight siblings. You really don’t know what you’re getting into. I guess if you are determined on being a psycho and planning this event right here, right now, stick with deciding things that men couldn’t care less to have an opinion on: colors, flowers, dresses, etc. Save food, music, and alcohol open bar for the guy to choose.
And I know I said to not start planning before you have a boyfriend, but don’t jump the gun the second a dude asks you out. The mere thought of wedding planning shouldn’t be in your mind until at least a couple years with the guy. This way you don’t get your hopes up when you’ve planned the perfect wedding, but Mr. Right walks out the door before he ever gets down on one knee.
While we’re on the subject, don’t you dare try to plan your engagement either. Leave that to him to figure out (or fuck up royally). Let him ask assistance from your best friend, but that’s it. Don’t show your inner control freak until he’s already tied the knot (kidding, only kidding).
Don’t get me wrong, if you attend your friends’ weddings and like their floral arrangements, by all means write a little note in your phone. But don’t go contacting ministers before you even have someone to stand next to at the alter. Otherwise, the only “I do” you’ll be getting from a guy is when it’s followed by “think you’re crazy.”.
Respond
Let me throw out the counter argument to this. As a man, you planning out all the wedding details ahead of time tells me several things. What tax bracket your family is in. What kind of lifestyle you expect. Are you crazy. All important things.
If you suspect a girl is crazy there is a 95% chance she has, or had at some point, a wedding Pinterest board.
I totally embrace a little crazy. Just don’t go overboard.
Denying your crazy rather than admitting it seems to be much worse than your basic bitch dreaming of her wedding.
In fairness, I’m on PorscheUSA.com every week configuring the 911 I hope to buy when I’m 50, which is kinda the same thing.
(Carrera S, Guards Red, Tan leather, 7MT, etc etc)
Vegetarian wedding is almost as bad as a cash bar. Almost.
I rolled my eyes throughout this entire article. Most girls love weddings and they’re fun to imagine. Just because a girl knows what kind of dress she wants or can picture a big wedding or a small one doesn’t mean she’s picturing you in it… Don’t get your panties in a bunch. Thinking about weddings doesn’t mean she wants to get married ASAP, it means she has normal levels of estrogen.
On the other hand, if you’ve had the engagement talk but he hasn’t popped the question, pin only rings that you would want him to buy. Otherwise we have no idea what we’re looking for and we’d get something we think you’d like, which is always going to be wrong.
Never buy a ring without the girl picking it out. Unless she does it, she will always be slightly disappointed and think she might have been able to find something better. She could send you a link to the EXACT one. If she’s nervous, she could tell her mother or BFF and you could bring them shopping with you. My cousin sent her bf to shop with her mother and gave them a 5 page document explaining the exact specs she wanted for the ring.
Personally, I’m picky and indecisive. My man and I went shopping together to 6 different stores over a two month period before I picked one out. Going in, I learned rings look different in photos than when on your hand. You may realize you like a completely different style than what you were choosing on Pinterest. You also learn what is expected with the budget which prevents you from possibly being underwhelmed later.
Long story short, don’t trust her pins on Pinterest. Flat out ask her.
Do you happen to be a character from one of Will deFries’ series?
A 5 page document on ring specs? I’d prefer to spend the rest of my life with someone who is in it for the marriage, not the ring. As long as a guy has decent taste, the woman should be happy as it is that he dropped thousands of dollars for a symbolic piece.
These are the kind of girls who meet a guy who fits their “requirements” and then are so focused on getting a ring they don’t bother with seeing if it’s actually the right person. I hope they enjoy planning divorces too
Divorce lawyers must be licking their chops at the thought of these girls getting married.
Just wait, divorce receptions will be the new up-and-coming event. I love the country-chic vibe you had in the event hall as you decided when the anchor baby could visit dad. Where’s Nived when I need him?
Pamela is killin it
The girls that do this only want to get married to have the wedding, not to actually have a marriage or a solid relationship.
I can’t “Nice work” this enough.
My ex once cried when I said I wanted to live together for a year before we got married, for no other reason than she might be 29 by the time we got married and she “didn’t want to look old in her wedding pictures.”
I just wanna throw out there that some guys mention weddings too soon as well. Don’t blame the female population for some psycho bitches that can’t get it together and make the rest of us look bad.
Stop it even if you do. I don’t need this kind of pressure.