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It’s been a very long time since I was a truly active member on Facebook. I’ve got a little bit of an Internet pecking order when I open up my laptop first thing in the morning. I open Gmail and Twitter first. I’ll check my inbox, and then spend the next twenty to thirty minutes scrolling through my Twitter feed making sure I haven’t missed anything super juicy while I was asleep. I’ll then visit PGP, read a few news publications like the Detroit Free Press and/or Politico, and then I’ll hop on my phone and look at Instagram for a little bit. This is my world wide web routine day in and day out.
At no point does Facebook even cross my mind as a viable option. Just isn’t in the wheelhouse like it used to be.
I don’t even keep the app on my phone anymore, and while I would love to sit here and tell you that I’m planning on deleting Facebook I simply can’t. I’ll never be able to delete it. There’s always a little voice in my head cautioning me. “What if you miss something?” I’ve got FOMO for something that I don’t even use anymore.
Last night while I slept, I was alerted via Twitter to something happening next week in Chicago, and for the first time in a long time I’m really fired up about a Facebook event.
Much has been said about the Chicago bean. It’s a miserable piece of architecture, and the fact that tourists and Chicagoans alike flock to this thing to get a ‘gram off is infuriating.
I can’t stand it and I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that a majority of people living in Chicago find the Bean ugly. I don’t know who Kay Augusta, the host of “Stick A Dildo to The Bean & Run Away” is, but she’s an American hero in my eyes.
I will be at this event rain or shine on Saturday, November 18th, and you can be damn sure that I will have a dildo with me to stick on the bean. I might buy multiple dildos to bring to this party. I can’t think of a better way to honor the worst architectural monument in the entire world than by sticking a bunch of dildos on it.
Up until I found out about this event, I have never in my life had a desire to get a selfie off at the Chicago bean. That all changes on November 18th. Stick it to the bean. .
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Johnny, you don’t need a thinly veiled “take a picture with the bean” event involving dildos to let us know you’re buying some rubber dicks at the sex shop. You’re safe here.
Can we get our salary on a per dildo unit?
Also was a huge fan of “Scream ‘I CAN’T SEE MY REFLECTION!’ At the bean to scare tourists” and “Bring the Picasso to the Bean so it isn’t lonely”. There are a ton of these, Johnny.
I visited this weekend. Was not impressed by the bean or all the basic bitches trying to get a ‘gram off in front of it.