Steve Ballmer’s Clippers Ownership Press Conference Was As Batshit Insane As We All Hoped

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For people who keep up with tech news, we all knew Steve Ballmer was a little bit nuts and excitable. He’s just a passionate about the things he loves, whether it’s basketball or developers. So for those of us who have languished watching Donald Sterling’s terribleness as an owner for years, it’s a breath of fresh air to see someone this excited about owning a basketball franchise. Also, this wasn’t a press conference as much as it was just some sweaty billionaire screaming at a half-full arena.

Let’s start with his entrance, scored perfectly with Eminem’s “Lose Yourself.”

Then he gets everyone to cheer for a fucking highlight video, using his trademarked “I don’t know how to control my voice from cracking, I’m so damn hyped” move.

For the whole awesomeness/insanity experience, check out the full press conference.

You can tell that Doc, CP3, and Blake are all excited to have this guy running the show now, and I think I speak for all NBA fans when I say that Steve Ballmer replacing Donald Sterling is the biggest basketball upgrade since Seattle traded Scottie Pippen to the Bulls for Olden Polynice and two draft picks.

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Randall J. Knox

Randall J. Knox (known colloquially to his friends as "Knox") left his native Texas a few years ago, and moved to Los Angeles in his '03 Buick Regal named LeRoi to write movies with his jackass college buddies. His favorite things in life include bourbon that's above his pay grade, mix CDs, and Kevin Costner films. He isn't sure what "dad jeans" are exactly, but he knows he wants a pair.

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