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With the beginning of November we see a shift. It’s a changing of the guard, from the fun of Halloween and reckless decisions to feelings of melancholy and existential dread. It is the tail end of fall. The imminent arrival of snow brings with it a very tired mood collectively. Gray skies, temperatures consistently in the thirties or forties, and a little voice inside your head that says “maybe this is your year.”
For the few who have significant others, movies like Love, Actually or How To Be Single are nothing more than Sunday night entertainment. Fodder to be enjoyed in the moment and forgotten about as soon as the credits roll.
But for the rest of you – the unlucky masses who get drunk on the weekend looking for another hook up, another drink, and some kind of human connection – Love, Actually and other movies of this ilk are fucking bullshit. Just a painful reminder of your singledom. You don’t need that evil in your life.
As we get farther and farther into this month, you’ll begin to see a lot more of these “looking for love” Christmas movies. The Christmas season is supposed to be about wonderment and joy. But you’re a liar if you’re single in November and December and don’t feel a little bit sad about that fact.
Think about every rom-com you’ve watched in the last few months. Most of them have one thing in common (other than the fact that they usually have very large casts with a ton of big names): a montage of some sad-sack piece of shit with no girlfriend, walking around a large metropolitan area while someone with a crooning, somber voice sings “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.”
Everyone knows that song, and everyone knows what it’s supposed to do. It’s one of the more depressing Christmas songs that comes to mind, but I’ll be goddamned if it isn’t fantastic in its own special way.
It is, of course, a completely different song if you’re in a living room with a glass of wine dancing with your girlfriend or boyfriend. But you’re not, because finding love is impossibly difficult and even if you do have it it’s doubly as hard to hold onto it.
This scene of the guy walking around by himself is usually right around the halfway mark of the movie, and by this time, the unlucky main character does a little self-reflecting. He sees his mother for lunch and then shares some self-deprecating laughs about his singledom.
In the movie, this massive loser meets a girl at a Christmas party or a NYE get-together and by springtime they are in love and the movie is over. The guy has finally found love in a sprawling concrete jungle (probably NYC or London), and the viewer is left to reflect on all of this while he tries to decide whether he should go get a drink or stay in his sweatpants and scroll Bumble.
November is the teaser trailer of the holiday season. Thanksgiving at your Grandma’s house or at an aunt’s house whom you don’t really care for is the warm-up for Christmas. It is the J.V. game being played before the Varsity gets going.
You’re going to hear from several people during the holidays that “you’ll find someone” and that they “never liked him/her (in reference to your old S.O.) anyways.” You kind of just have to deal and pray that January gets here quickly.
So why do this time of year remind many that they’re painfully alone? You’re surrounded by your family and presents and booze and food. But it’s all just shit to distract you isn’t it?
You throw How To Be Single on HBO Now thinking that you’ll be in for some laughs and a light-hearted romp through the streets of NYC, only to be reminded of the fact that you very well might die alone.
November is only just the beginning. If you’re single and looking, strap yourself in and try not to watch too many of these Shakesperian tragedies marketed as romantic comedies. The one solid piece of advice I’ve taken from the countless Christmas rom-com’s I’ve watched? Once you stop looking it’ll be right there in front of you..
Image via Youtube
Respond
jduda@grandex.co
Does this mean that you’re single again?
Nope
The best part about not being passionate about anything, is that you don’t even care about being single, anymore.
I know that feel (or lack there of), bro.
Yo what up I also am too exhausted to feel feelings.
I’m now taking applications for a last minute cuffing season partner. If you live in KC please forward your resumes to my Twitter.
Sup?…..wait, crap
Alternate Take: These movies can actually convince you that there is actually someone out there for you.
And then TGDAG, will convince you that maybe staying single is the right move after all…
I’m liking Will’s take here.
The Holiday is my favorite movie but give me two classes of wine and I’m crying through the whole thing.
I never got why it was ever so fucking important to have a S.O. during winter time. It’s mainly a time for family and friends. Either that, or I’m just delusional in the repressing of my own loneliness and depression lol
Get up out your feelings and engage in the fucking chase Duda.
God I loved hearing about snow and temps being in 30/40’s. It’s gonna get up to 89 on Saturday in Dallas.
I’ll be in DFW for the TCU game, couldn’t be more pumped about this November forecast.
I love Summer, so I am completely fine with the current forecast. God Bless Texas.
My allergies can’t handle to 50 degree mornings and the 85 degree afternoons!!
The Hallmark Channel is unbelievably terrible this time of year.
Thanks for this, it helped coax my existential dread out of hibernation.