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Y’all do me a favor and just trust Boston’s Boy, one time! If you go to last week’s picks blog, in the comment section, I’m getting chirped left right and center. “Your Jags take is trash!” they said. Jags not only covered, they murdered the Ravens. “Your Giants take is trash!” they said. Giants covered, no biggie. I may call myself a mediocre degenerate but through three weeks? Daddy’s crushing it. Those Back Door Cover boys better take notice because they’ve got a tout just giving out winners every Friday. If you haven’t got on the gambling train, there’s still time. Expert or rookie, you gotta check out My Bookie. #Ad #Sponsored #Instafit #FitTea.
Thursday night picks are 5-1, just saying…
And hey! That’s another 2-0 night on Thursdays to take me to 7-1 on Thursday Night Football. Man do I know how to call these shitty games or what?!
Let’s tango.
SAINTS (-3) AT DOLPHINS; 49.5
Wake up with some tea and crumpets (the fuck’s a crumpet, anyway?) and enjoy some NFL in London for the second week in a row! Here’s the dealski: Drew Brees is a Hall of Fame quarterback, one of the bests ever to play. He will not let his team fall out of a playoff race a quarter of the way into the season. Jay Cutler? Probably will have one too many black and tans the night before the game.
Picks: Saints -3; Under 49.5
PANTHERS AT PATRIOTS (+9); 49
Guys, I’m officially hitting the Panic! at the Disco button on the Patriots defense. Inconsistent pass rush, awful run defense, and a secondary that is underperforming. Cam Newton is not playing well right now, but if he plays like he can – if he stops being a baby and decides to get out of the pocket every now and again – he’s going to drive New England crazy.
Picks: Panthers +9; Under 49
RAMS AT COWBOYS (-6.5); 48
So, somehow through three games, the Rams have the NFL’s most prolific offense. LMFAO. That won’t last. Dallas hasn’t looked great yet this season, but I’ve got a hunch that they roll at home. This is assuming that Jerry Jones doesn’t fire all his players mere moments before the game if they take a knee during the anthem.
Picks: Cowboys -6.5; Under 48
TITANS (-1.5) AT TEXANS; 43.5
Maybe I’m biased because I just watched the Texans almost stun New England at Gillette, but man oh man is their front seven scary. And Deshaun Crick Watson? Dude can play. I expect Houston to win this divisional game at home.
Picks: Texans +1.5; Over 43.5
JAGUARS (-3.5) AT JETS; 38
The Jets have had this game circled all year because it would have been their chance to get a W. but they got their win last week and they’ve hit their quota. I love the over in this game. Might be my lock of the week. Having said that, are the Jaguars really road favorites by more than 3 points? What a time.
Picks: Jets +3.5; Over 38
BENGALS (-3) AT BROWNS; 41.5
Both teams are 0-3, so the race for the bottom of the NFC North is getting heated. Both QBs on these teams have been atrocious. Andy Walton Dalton (shout out to Walton Dalton) is going to again be without red zone monster Tyler Eifert, their run game is still inconsistent, but on the plus side, they’ve got defensive stud Vontaze Burfict back. We’ll see how long it takes for him to get an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty. I’ve got the over/under at the first quarter.
Picks: Browns +3; Under 41.5
STEELERS (-3) AT RAVENS; 42
The Ravens were deader than Edgar Allen Poe in London last week. They return home to a huge divisional game. Huge. Pittsburgh got their hearts ripped out in overtime last week, but they deserved to lose; their offense has looked pretty shitty this season. Where the fuck is that explosivity we thought they’d have? Big Ben Gardenhoser has looked old and fat. I’ll take the home dogs I guess. Also, lots of public coin on the under. I take the over most times in this case.
Picks: Ravens +3; Over 42
LIONS AT VIKINGS(+2); 42.5
Detroit may never recover from that snafu last week where they “beat” the Falcons but it didn’t count. The key here is if Case Western Reserve Keenum can still keep slinging it like Joe Montana against a Lions team that’s played the pass really well so far. I personally think it’s kind of fluky how well he’s played. Add in the fact that Minnesota has not fared well against the pass and I think Detroit may take this divisional heater.
Picks: Lions +2; Over 42.5
BILLS AT FALCONS (-8.5); 48.5
Atlanta is 3-0, but they sneaky could be 1-2. They could have lost to the Bears opening weekend, and they basically did lose to the Lions last Sunday. The Bills have had an astoundingly solid defense so far, and they probably will get their stud defensive tackle Marcell Dareus Rucker back this week.
Picks: Bills +8.5; Under 48.5
GIANTS AT BUCCANEERS (-3); 45
Who would have thought that the worst football team out of New York this season wouldn’t be the Jets? Wild stuff. The Giants are dead. Eli is done. And their supposed rock star defense? Trash. The New York Football Giants are a bigger dumpster fire than the new 280 character Tweets.
Picks: Bucs -3; Over 45
EAGLES AT CHARGERS (-1); 47.5
Gotta love San Diego I mean Los Angeles’s home field advantage here. Y’all hear that the NFL might force the Bolts to move back to San Diego? That would be incredible. As for Philly, somehow this is only their second time in California since 1989! How is that even possible? They never went to play Oakland or San Francisco or San Diego? Once in 28 years?! They’re in California less than I’m in women.
Picks: Chargers -1; Under 47.5
49ERS AT CARDINALS (-7); 44.5
Did you see the Cardinals on Monday? What a pitiful second half. Brutal challenges, terrible clock management, dumb play calling. The offense stinks without David Johnson. Larry Fitzgerald can’t catch every pass…I don’t think. Niners are also on 10 days rest, Arizona only on 6. If you’re into that whole “rest” thing.
Picks: Niners +7; Under 44.5
RAIDERS AT BRONCOS (-3); 46
Oakland was atrocious on offense against the R-words on Monday, and now they have to go into Denver against one of the best defenses in the league? I also want to point out that, medium key, Oakland hasn’t played well on defense this season; the Raiders are 28th against the pass and 17th against the run, and rank 30th in DVOA (Defense-adjusted Value Over Average). That’s football nerd speak for “they’ve got some defensive issues.”
Picks: Broncos -3; Over 46
COLTS AT SEAHAWKS (-13); 41.5
The fuck happened to Seattle? The offensive line is trash. If they were standing in front of the Outdoor Voices store, I’m pretty convinced I’d still find my way in. I’m really curious to see how my man Jacoby Brisket Brissett handles the loud conditions in Seattle. He’s been on the team less than a month, so I wonder if, like my relationships, communication will be an issue.
Picks: Colts +13; Over 41.5
REDSKINS AT CHIEFS (-7); 49.5
The Skins looked damn good on Monday night, but we can’t forget that Kirk Aunts Uncles and Cousins doesn’t really have too many offensive weapons, and going into Arrowhead Stadium? It’s terrifying. The Chiefs are somehow the greatest show on or off the turf and Andy Reid hasn’t completely botched a game due to clock management. What a time.
Picks: Chiefs -6; Under 49.5
LAST WEEK
ATS: 9-7
Totals: 10-6
SEASON
ATS: 26-20-1
Totals: 27-19-1
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Lions +2 is EASY money!
The thing with Cam is his shoulder and ankle are pretty banged up, so he’s not nearly the player he could be (which is killing me in fantasy). That should help out the Pats D a bit, but they’re going to have to stop McCaffery.
Also, the Bucs D is pretty banged up (McCoy and David are both hurt) and they gave up a bunch of points to Case Keenum last week, the Giants might fare better than you think. Sure, they’re a dumpster fire, but they’re a dumpster fire with Odell Beckham, Jr.
I think Tampa does a lot of really nice things on the offensive side of the ball. Balanced attack. Haven’t seen anything stellar from a NYG defense that was supposed to be a Top 10…
Agreed. I can see this game being a lot like the Philly game the Giants had last week, but I’ve definitely got the Bucs here.
Well the Bengals and Browns play in the AFC North not the NFC.
Sorry, I only got 5 against the spread last week so I needed a W somewhere.
Obviously just a quick typo on my part.
Lions are going to the Super Bowl