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Some Questions I Have About Justin Bieber Sitting Alone At A New York City Bar

Celebrity sightings are a hit-or-miss venture that often yield very little to no reward. You can act like celebrities are “just like everyone else” in your world, but they’re not. You simply don’t notice every single person sitting alone a restaurant like you do when that person is a considered to be on the A-List.

Yesterday, a friend of mine spotted Justin Bieber sitting alone at a bar in New York City. My girlfriend received the Snapchat and confirmed that it was, in fact, him. This was later confirmed by a Twitter fan account of Justin Bieber that posted a photo of him from a different angle. You can tell by the jeans and all-white Adidas Ultra Boosts that he definitely has an entire walk-in closet full of wherever the hell he stays when he’s in New York.

This photo, however, raises a ton of questions that I need answers to.

What was he drinking?

From what we can see in the photo, this is a dark beer. Like, the type of beer that you almost have to chew the second it enters your mouth. I want to say that it’s a Guinness but you have to think Bieber has a more refined palette than to get the training wheels of dark beers. Maybe it was a Negra Modelo or a Bell’s Expedition Stout. Either way, I need to know what he was taking down so I can officially make it my dark beer of choice. I pretty much didn’t even care about Yeezys until I saw him romping around in them in New Zealand in his “I’ll Show You” video. But if he’s a dark beer guy, looks like I have to be one.

Why does he have his phone at full-brightness?

This was insider information we got from our informant. Most of the time, sliding your brightness all the way to the right is a psychotic move reserved for old people and when the sun is super bright on your eyes at the pool. Doing it in a dark bar just screams “luxury.” Battery life is something rich people don’t have to worry about – they can just pull out their second or third iPhone and keep scrolling their feed. I’ve always assumed that Kardashians and Biebers have a different Instagram app than the rest of us; you know, an app that can handle all the action their accounts get. But I almost wonder if he had the brightness all the way up in hopes of people being able to see his face better.

Where’s his entourage?

We’re talking about Justin fucking Bieber here, after all. I know most of his fans aren’t old enough to even go to bars, but when’s the last time you saw a celebrity get photographed in this close of quarters without someone bothering them, gawking over them, or at the very least, just talking to them? He’s not a minor character in Road Trip who doesn’t get noticed anymore – he’s legitimately one of the most recognizable humans on the face of the earth.

Why does he have a shirt around his neck?

My signature look this summer was going to be no buttons parlayed with some pool slides, but now I’m reassessing every decision I’ve made up until this point in my life. Not only do I need to get my hands on this M.C. Escher x Supreme 2017 Spring/Summer Collection Long Sleeve, but now I need to also figure out what the hell the white shirt has on it so I can wear it as a necklace until this look falls out of fashion.

How did he pay?

Or did he even pay at all? I don’t know, and I may never know. I’m trying to visualize Justin pulling out ten bucks from his velcro wallet and handing it over to the barkeep. When you’re that famous, I just imagine rolling into a place, ordering something, and then having someone in your clique pay for it with your money or credit card. Seems pretty cocky to bust out your Black Card for a few mid-evening coldies, but we’re also talking about a guy who’s using full-brightness in the middle of a dark bar here.

Did anyone actually know who he was besides my friend who took the photo?

Don’t get me wrong – there’s a reason Justin Bieber is a multi-platinum selling recording artist. It’s because his music is timeless like your Rolling Stones, your Bob Dylans, and your Luke Bryans. But hear me out.

I imagine there’s a small section of the world where people don’t really know who Justin Bieber is. Small pockets of alternative-lifestyle people who don’t spend their days scrolling Instagram and taking selfies on Snapchat with those hilarious face filters. Has Justin found a bar where all the patrons are those people? Is he a regular there because he knows he won’t be bothered? Did he import everyone into this bar and manufacture a chill situation around him in order to humanize himself? Anything is possible here.

I would’ve plopped right down next to him and told the bartender, “I’ll have what he’s having, because baby, baby, baby, it’s been a tough day.” Then turn to him and say, “Oh, shit, is it too late now to say sorry for not introducing myself?” And then he’d get a weird look on his face and say, “What do you mean?”

LOL, classic Justin.

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Will

Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at will@grandex.co.

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