Some “God Damn Peasant” Made A Fantastic Craigslist Ad For His Couch

If you live in Denver and are looking for a slightly used, “crazy comfy couch” with a curiously aristocratic name, today is your lucky day.

That’s right, this Craigslist seller and self-proclaimed “god damn peasant” is offering up a steal on this three piece Truscotti Cafe Collection couch. Apparently he has no room for it in his new place, so someone really needs to do him a solid and just buy the damn thing.

Look at these talking points from Craigslist:

Awesome Sectional Couch, got it brand-new wholesale for $1500 from a close out deal (was $2000). Now you get to get away with highway robbery! I moved to Denver, but my place is too small because I’m a god damn peasant.

This couch has a super pretentious name, Truscotti Cafe, so you know, you can use that as a pickup line.

I can’t count how many times I fell the fuck to sleep on this guy. Don’t buy this if you don’t like spontaneous amazing naps. References available upon request.

Like a good suit, this is a three piece.

LAF Love-seat (retail: $662) (my price: $225)
RAF Sofa (retail: $910) (my price: $300)
Wedge (retail: $508) (my price: $175)
retail total: $2080, YOUR PRICE: $700

Sick. It’s in great shape. I’ll take offers, but no low-balling. Serious buyers only.

Comes with five pillows. About a year old. Tons of fluff still left in all of it.

Sometimes these ads feel inauthentic, but not this one. There’s a certain level of honesty in those words. It’s poetry. He’ll even provide references if you really want to do your due diligence.

If you’re not already sold, maybe this sick drawing will change your mind:


“I didn’t take 16 credits of art class for nothing, look at my fucking masterpiece drawing that shows you every dimension so you can fit it in your penthouse. Niiiice.”

He did the dirty work for you. That’s amazing.

How could you not picture yourself going hard on a chill-sesh while sprawled out on this bad boy? This thing just screams stay in and do nothing.

Screen Shot 2015-09-15 at 3.07.19 PM

My couch knowledge is limited, but I feel like that’s going to provide a decent amount of lumbar support while not interfering with your ability to Netflix and/or chill. Hope it works out for him.

[via Craigslist]

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Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

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