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Welcome to 2019! Although the year 2018 is behind us, annoying people on social media are still alive and thriving… which means I have plenty to complain about. These seven trends on social media are just the tip of the iceberg in terms of cringeworthy content online. But, alas, these are the immediate ones that should remain dead in 2018. If you were an offender of any of these last year, you’re in luck! You can forget that nonsense and start off fresh by never committing these viral crimes again. Now, in no particular order, here are the social media trends that need to remain in 2018:
Captions About Food On Non-Food Pictures
I wrote an entire article about this back in July called “That’s Not Actually How You Look At The Waiter When He’s Bringing Your Food“, so I’ll be brief here… but some of y’all are STILL captioning your bikini pics about Taco Bell and I’m pretty sick of it. This overwhelming phenomenon is where hot people feel inclined to remind their audience they have some down-to-earth tendencies like, gee, eating? Just own your hotness. Confidence is in for 2019. Pizza captions are out.
I know most yoga practice teaches students not to judge, but it’s very difficult to refrain from making fun of this “fitness” trend. Here’s my irk: If you want to just hang out with goats, go hang out with goats. They’re not that hard to find if you really try. And if you’re just looking to make your hour of yoga an Instagrammable moment, I think you might be missing the point of doing yoga…
“Weird Flex, But Okay,” “Thanks For Coming To My TED Talk,” And “This Ain’t It, Chief”
If you still type any of these phrases on your social media accounts (whether you’re trying to be ironic or not), you’re just embarrassing yourself at this point. These blurbs had a shining moment of glory, but they’ve been dead for a while now and shan’t be resurrected any time soon. Don’t worry – we’ll all be overusing another annoying phrase sometime soon.
Twitter Meme Overuse
Remember the “don’t say it, don’t say it” meme on Twitter a few months ago? Yeah. That wasn’t funny after the first three creations of it. It was one of the most overused memes of the year and, if I’m being totally honest, it was just a shitty meme all around. The only thing the meme did was point out a common phrase people say. So. Let’s not overuse Twitter memes this year, please.
In fairness, these should’ve been long gone by now… I swear if I see one more birthday post with somebody holding those God-awful metallic balloons I’m going to scream. They were original and cute circa 2011 when they first surfaced on our social media feeds, but now it’s just a try-hard move for a subpar Instagram picture reminding your followers that it’s your birthday. It’s time to be more unique.
You know what I’m talking about. There’s The Museum of Ice Cream, Color Factory, Candytopia, and The Museum of Selfies… Unfortunately I’m not making any of these up. Now, look. I actually went to the Museum of Ice Cream when it opened and it was cute I guess… but as someone who doesn’t consume dairy or care all that much about a selfie in a pool of not-so-hygenic plastic sprinkles, it wasn’t that great for me. These $30 per ticket selfie stations can be fun, but they’re ultimately a huge superficial gimmick that does not make customers’ lives better in any way, besides giving them a good photo op.
Posed “Candid” Pictures
The other day I overheard a group of girls say “Now, let’s take a ‘candid’ one!” which… well… obviously was not candid whatsoever. This happens at brunch, birthday parties, holiday get togethers… even wedding photographers pose their clients to look “caught-in-the-moment.” Now, I get it. People want cute pictures where they’re casually smiling downward while walking, laughing mid-meal, climbing up a staircase or ladder or lounging around glancing into the distance. But let’s be honest here: When you boil it down, these pictures are just like a newer version of the duck-lipped selfie that we’re going to be cringing at in a few years.
There are plenty more social media offenses I didn’t touch on, so feel free to sound off in the comments about what irks you when scrolling through your Insta feed. Just, please — don’t caption a selfie “probs thinking about pizza” this year… For my own sanity..