Smokeless Tobacco Just Got Banned By MLB, So How Are Those Guys Going To Function?

Smokeless Tobacco Just Got Banned By MLB, So How Are Those Guys Going To Function?

There’s no stimulant as ingrained in American culture, especially in its national pastime, like good old smokeless tobacco. I haven’t touched it since my playing days ended, but if it weren’t for a hearty chunk of Red Man sitting in my cheek I don’t think I could’ve made it through five years of college baseball practices in the West Texas heat.

If you work in the South, there’s a good chance that a guy somewhere in your office is packing his tin as we speak to get him through the workday. However, this habit has become a bit more frowned upon of late, as evidenced by Major League Baseball’s hot new ban on the products.

From Sports Illustrated

A person familiar with the negotiations says Major League Baseball and its players’ union agreed to ban smokeless tobacco for all new big leaguers.

Think about that dude you work with in the corner office who you see constantly plugging away at his sales reports while enjoying a nice pinch of Copenhagen. Now imagine what would happen to the productivity of that poor bastard if the CEO handed down a hard ban on his stimulant vice. This ban is like that, but 90% of a workforce.

Now it’s easy to see the reasoning of MLB here, as in the past few years they’ve lost legend Tony Gwynn to mouth cancer and have taken heat for the example their dip-spitting players set for kids. However, this smells of mostly a PR move, as a ban has been in place for Minor League Baseball for years yet still is commonplace on the field and in clubhouses.

Fortunately for any partakers of smokeless tobacco already enjoying life in the show, they’re exempt from the new law of the land. The ban doesn’t apply to any player who already has at least one day of major league service.

Don’t worry, we don’t have to fret about Madison Bumgarner pitching without his tobacco fix. Pour one out, though, for any rookies needing a pinch. Hope you don’t get the shakes out there.

[via Sports Illustrated]

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Kyle Bandujo

The artist formerly known as Crash Davis. My kid doesn't think I'm funny.

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