Short List: Places I’d Rather Wake Up Than In A New Bugatti


  1. A version of my apartment wherein my clothes are not draped over everything with surface area to spare.
  2. A clear (but adequately sturdy) waterbed with a live and very friendly dolphin living inside of it.
  3. An old Bugatti full of entirely legal hundred dollar bills with no previous linkage to embezzlement, mafia activity, or roadside prostitution (and a perfectly logical explanation).
  4. A multi-level candy store with no security cameras after closing hours.
  5. On the set of any Ke$ha music video, post “go insane, go insane throw some glitter make it rain.”
  6. The year 2000, on the floor of Sisqo’s recording spot while he considered giving the world “The Thong Song” for the very first time.
  7. A urine-free crate full of chocolate lab puppies.
  8. The 50-yard-line of The Big House. ’Cause that means I did some serious work towards getting myself there in the first place…and totally pulled it off.
  9. Atop the world’s largest beanbag.
  10. In one of those beds that can fold you into a pretzel if you want.

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Kylie is a graduate of the University of Michigan living in Dallas, TX, where there are far fewer pigeons than there are in NYC. for more

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