‘Shark Tank’ Is Expanding Into A Spinoff Series, Assumedly Will Take Over All Television By 2020

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In the last couple of years, “Shark Tank” has become an international phenomenon. To the point that I know I don’t even need to explain the premise of the show to you. They’ve recently been running eight-hour marathons of it in syndication on CNBC, something I know because my layabout roommate watches nothing but “Shark Tank” on a daily basis. So, good news for him and the rest of you weirdos obsessed with living vicariously through middle Americans pitching mildly interesting products to snarky multi-millionaires, they’re now launching a spinoff series called “Beyond The Tank.” The concept is simple. Each episode will function as a standalone version of the updates that they’ve been doing on the show, detailing how certain companies are performing after their appearance on “Shark Tank.”

That’s all well and good, but what I really think this points to is that “Shark Tank” is now a full-fledged, Marvel-type franchise property. Like Marvel, I see them expanding significantly further into what I am going to refer to as the STTVU (Shark Tank Television Universe). First, we start with this spinoff. Then, Phase 2 will be a spinoff series (“In the Tank”) that follows each individual shark in their day-to-day operations. We’ll get to see Cuban make decisions for the Mavs front office, Kevin O’Leary browbeating opposing negotiators for royalty points, and Daymond hanging out with celebs making even more jokes about what “the guy I know in the hood” will do for cheaper than everyone’s stupid products.

Then, Phase 3. They buy Shark Week away from Discovery Channel.

Phase 4, ABC drops all programming not related to Shark Tank, and rebrands as STN (Shark Tank Network). We’ll see shows centered on young entrepreneurs who are up and coming sharks, the nuts and bolts of how infomercials are made, and a Behind The Music-esque show about how once-successful businessmen got addicted to cocaine and hookers and lost everything.

Phase 5, they use the billions of dollars in revenue from their programming targeted to hope-driven Americans, who Steinbeck referred to as “temporarily embarrassed millionaires,” and pay Steven Spielberg to direct nothing but Jaws films for the rest of his life. Disney (which owns ABC) rebrands as Disney Shark Tank, and starts including cameos of the Sharks in Marvel, Star Wars, and Indiana Jones movies, complete with action figures.

Checkmate, world. Shark Tank’s taking over.

[via The Wrap]

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