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Ever since KITT from “Knight Rider” stole our hearts back in the early 80s, Americans have yearned for a car that could drive for them, take them where they need to go without having to do just about anything, and possibly even lecture and sass us in the voice of the greatest actor of all time, William Daniels, aka Mr. George Feeny from “Boy Meets World.”
Well, they’ve finally gone ahead and done it: the State of California announced new DMV regulations that will allow for autonomous vehicles to hit California roads on September 16th, 2014, paving the way for car manufacturers to start testing self-driving cars so lazy shits like us can start transforming into the amorphous blob humans from “Wall-E.”
Took you long enough, didn’t you, you lying scientist sons of bitches, failing miserably to keep up with science fiction writers?
Picture this, Californians: Cruising up Highway 1 from LA to Big Sur, the ocean on your left, mountains on your right, driving with your girlfriend on the winding, mountain highway. You take the top down. Why, that’s enough to get ANY living, breathing woman completely aroused. She reaches for your belt buckle…no problem. Just turn on the auto-pilot button, sit back, relax and enjoy. But just remember: Skynet is watching. Skynet is always watching.
This could be the greatest invention of all time, revolutionizing everything from traffic jams to drunk driving accidents. Or, you know, it could be the first step to total and utter reliance on Artificial Intelligence and computers that will ABSOLUTELY come back to bite us in the collective ass when the Machine Uprising begins.
But that’s future you’s problem. For now, let’s sit back and enjoy the great big beautiful utopia that we’re creating for ourselves.