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Seattle has a reputation for being the cleanest, greenest major city in the only country that matters. So when you hear about a chain-smoking car passenger destroying the facial construction of the driver over a cigarette, you wouldn’t typically think of Seattle. In fact, if the Nard Dawg was a betting man (wink-wink, IRS), I’d throw my next paycheck on Detroit.
But alas, a Seattle-based Lyft driver was struck a solid blow to the nose, causing his face to balloon like a, well like a face that just got punched really hard. The driver, who remains unnamed, claims it’s broken. As an economics major at a liberal arts school I can verify the diagnosis. I mean, look at that thing:
How did this even happen? Details have not been released. At least not regarding the actual incident. Lyft has permanently suspended the passenger from ordering or riding in its cars again. But logistically, how do you wreck a nose that bad with a fist, when the nose is facing the same direction as you? This is how the Nard Dawg speculates the crime in question went down.
Passenger lights cigarette. Driver asks passenger to kindly fuck himself, reminds passenger “this is my car” in the rudest tone possible. Passenger grabs imposter-cabbie by the skull and jams his face into the steering wheel. Driver then takes a selfie rather than going to the hospital.
But don’t let me keep you from forming your own wrong opinion.