Python Bites Man’s Penis During Routine Bathroom Visit In Thailand, But He’s Perfectly Fine

Python Bites Man's Penis During Routine Bathroom Visit In Thailand, But He's Perfectly Fine

In a breaking story out of Thailand that almost has too many pun opportunities to be true, a 38-year-old is recovering in the hospital following a bizarre bathroom incident in which a massive python latched onto his penis.

According to the CBS News report, the snake slithered through the plumbing of the Thai man’s house and right up to the opening of the man’s toilet. Doctors are optimistic about his recovery, and the report says that he is in good spirits in the hospital.

While we feel deeply for the man, it’s hard not to laugh at the amount of penis-related tidbits and jokes with this unfortunate story. Most notably are his first name — Attaporn — and the city it was reported out of — you guessed it: Bangkok. According to a five-second Google search I just did, “Attaporn” is a moderately popular name amongst southeast Asian men, although I was unable to conclude whether they prefer RedTube or PornHub.

I know I’m not alone when I say that my prayers are with my dude Attaporn today. Anyone who tries to make a penis joke during this man’s life-threatening encounter with a killer should be ashamed of themselves. I can’t even fathom a more horrifying, cringeworthy set of circumcisions circumstances to cum come out of a simple trip to the pisser.

Godspeed, Attaporn.

[Via CBS News]

Image via Shutterstock

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