Pizza Hut Bringing A Giant Tank That Shoots Pizza To Comic-Con

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Military might + morbid obesity weapons = America.

Comic-Con used to be this quiet little comic convention in San Diego. Then it became the biggest comic book junket in the industry, but it was still relatively quiet. Then comic book movies happened, Hollywood noticed this self-promotional vehicle ripe for the picking, and now it’s become an annual juggernaut of over-the-top press and promotion. For major Hollywood studios using San Diego Comic-Con as a vehicle to promote their summer blockbuster films, they managed to turn the convention into a summer blockbuster in itself.

But how do you manage to one-up a convention full of people trying to one-up each other? How do you manage to get butts in seats for movies that are, well, common knowledge to be crap? (Looking at you, “Green Lantern.”) Seems like Pizza Hut and “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” have changed the game once again.

How? By constructing a tank that shoots pizza. Let me say that again: A TANK THAT SHOOTS PIZZA.

Allow me to introduce you to…The Pizza Thrower.

The Pizza Thrower is 12 feet tall and 9 feet wide with a tower that rotates a 16-foot-long cannon 180 degrees. Its ammunition? None other than pizza used to shoot at the enemies of the Ninja Turtles.

Unfortunately…the pizza isn’t real. DAMN IT. HOLLYWOOD PHONIES STRIKE AGAIN.

However, pizza lovers at Comic-Con will not leave hungry or unhappy according to Pizza Hut senior marketing director John Drinkwater, who says that show attendees, “…are going to love taking down Shredder, sampling Cheesy Bites Pizza and will have a lot of fun with both of our brands throughout the convention.”

I’m just saying though, the quickest way to end pretty much any military conflict would be to construct an ACTUAL tank that shoots ACTUAL pizza. Frankly, I think just about any disagreement can be settled over a piping hot slice of ‘za. Don’t you?

[via The Hollywood Reporter]

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