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My mom always taught me that if didn’t have anything nice to say, I should just tweet it out for everyone to read. She also told me to stop eating glue all the time, but I’m a rebel. Anyway, it’s apparent that PayPal executive Rakesh “Rocky” Agrawal was taught the same lessons.
On Friday night, the Rockster checked in on Foursquare to the JazzFest in New Orleans and then, in an act of drunken, illogical genius, he rapid fire-tweeted about his coworkers. Mind you, he was hired as PayPal’s director of strategy just two months ago–this was clearly long enough for him to make an indecent judge of character.
His first drunk post was innocent enough. Just a casual bird-flipping selfie in what appears to be the entrance to a bar. Some would say it was the precursor to the whole night’s events based on deep analysis of his caption, “I can’t wait to explain this.” Regardless of your opinion on whether it’s an indicator of future naughtiness, one thing is certain: @dens and @arainert know what he’s talking about.
Two hours later, the first attack on his coworkers began. It’s speculatively clear that in this two-hour window, he tried to take on more hand grenades than the German Army in WWII. Like the Germans, he lost big time.
His first attempted take-down was on PayPal’s Vice President of Global Communications Christina Smedley.
From here, Rocko takes the next seven hours to type out incoherent jumble and what appears to be a bold claim that he can make Foursquare $50 billion. Who even uses Foursquare?
He ended his malicious rant with a total knockout punch Saturday morning after waking up. After putting his VP of global communications on full blast, you would think he’d wake up, erase the damage, and shoot out the obligatory apology tweet. Nope.
The next morning, he realized what was important.
He did apologize–but it was two hours later after he blamed the user interface differences between the iPhone and his new Galaxy s5. Rocky apologized to two other PayPal employees; however, the tweets were deleted before they could be captured to share with you animals.
Even before PayPal announced early Saturday that Rockstar was fired, he sent one last hungover selfie with the ever optimistic message of, “Day one of my next adventure?” That’s going to be my new Saturday morning Snapchat caption.
[via Business Insider]
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At least bring him back for the softball game.
Man, that dude went down swinging. Another victim of the ducking autocorrect.