Paint-Covered Tuxedoed Madman Wanted By Toronto Police For Allegedly Trashing Downtown Office

Paint-Covered Tuxedoed Madman Wanted By Toronto Police For Allegedly Trashing Downtown Office

Let’s just get this out of the way: Any time you end your night wearing a paint-covered Tuxedo, something went terribly wrong. Security camera footage + you covered in paint equals major red flags. Unless it’s a paint-your-date party and you’re in college, your night ended poorly. Well, Toronto Police are looking for the Tuxedo-wearing suspect who they believe went on one hell of a rampage in Toronto’s finance district Friday night causing thousands of dollars worth of damage.

From Global News:

The suspect was then seen on camera walking to the second floor, where police said he broke into an office by forcing a door open.

Several windows were smashed, bottles broken and a can of paint was opened and poured it throughout the office, causing thousands of dollars to furniture and other property inside.

Many questions. Fewer answers. All of this went down before midnight? What? And where did the can of paint come from? Whose man is this?

Wearing a tux is supposed to lead to good things, especially when you’re partying in the finance district in a major North-American city. The confidence, real or otherwise, that you obtain as you eye yourself in the full length mirror after sliding on the coat is off the charts. You’re at your best and nothing can stop you. Women want you, and deals just fall into your lap. That’s how it’s supposed to go down, but something clearly went wrong here. Maybe he got stiffed on his bonus and went full-Griswold? Maybe he got a hold of a bad batch? We may never know, and that’s sad.

To top it all off, according to the reader who tipped me off to this story, our suspect had the balls to try and bum a cig off of security as he walked out covered in paint. This guy just had a bad night and needed to vent. Now he’s wanted on a charge of mischief over $5,000. Merry Christmas.

[via Global News]

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Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

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