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I had to check the location on this one several times. At first I figured I had misread it due to the fact that it’s currently 7 a.m., and I’m only awake thanks to the annual post-Christmas hangover. I could’ve sworn this was a Florida Man story, but surprisingly the incident described in the headline went down in Eugene, O.R. According to Google Maps, though, Eugene is a short drive south of Portland, which makes this all slightly less shocking.
It all got rolling around noon on Wednesday when Creswell, Oregon resident Louis Adler strolled into the Eugene branch of the state’s Department of Revenue. The office knew of Adler after several recent incidents. Whatever had happened between the office and Mr. Adler pissed him off quite a bit, because for this visit he brought along with him a flock of chickens with the intent of trashing the workplace of his enemy.
From The Register-Guard:
A Eugene police officer responded to the state Department of Revenue office about 12:20 p.m., shortly after the man, identified as Louis J. Adler, 66, released seven chickens in the office lobby.
This obviously brings about a lot of questions. One of the main being why in the hell he selected chickens as his method of retaliation. Of all the possible options he could’ve easily and successfully followed through with, he chose to bring fucking chickens. Not only did he bring chickens, but just to come up with this plan he quite obviously had to have been in possession of at least seven surplus chickens looking for a purpose in life. It’s pure absurdity all around.
Officers called animal control to the scene, and they brought his early Christmas gift to a shelter, leaving officers to deal directly with the culprit. Adding an even stranger twist to this story, the officers chose to do absolutely nothing. Nada. Adler walked out of there without a mark against him. Despite releasing a damn flock of poultry into a government office and creating a destructive disturbance as retaliation against past incidents, all he received was a slap on the wrist and a police order to no longer visit the Eugene tax office.
Officers gave Adler a trespass notice requiring him to stay away from the office or face a citation, police spokeswoman Melinda McLaughlin said.
If you’re interested in owning a chicken, a squad of seven newly homeless barnyard fowl will be going up for adoption in the coming days..
[via The Register-Guard]
Image via Bukhanovskyy/Shutterstock
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Bogey Wells
Bogey Wells is a TFM Senior Freelance Contributor. He occasionally dabbles with PGP.
Choking the chicken. PGP.
That joke was fowl…