Okay, So Drinking Coffee Will Actually Extend Your Life

Okay, So Drinking Coffee Will Actually Extend Your Life

There are all those studies out there about how champagne will help prevent Alzheimer’s and that a glass of red wine every night is good for your heart. I can’t vouch for the validity of any of those, but all I can say is that I’m going to use those “studies” as an excuse to carry a solid buzz whenever I can.

What I can vouch for is a recent study done by the Harvard School of Public Health that recently studied over 167,000 women and 40,000 men to see if there’s a link between coffee and longevity. As it turns out, there is.

People who drank three to five cups of joe a day had a 15% lower risk of premature death compared to non-drinkers. Coffee lovers had a lower risk of death from heart disease, diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, and even suicide. Though people who drank more than five cups a day didn’t have any association with mortality, so maybe keep it to less than that. And this is obvious to say, but don’t smoke; smokers negated any health benefits from drinking coffee.

Good news, Mary-Kate and Ashley — your black coffee is doing wonders for you. Bad news, you’re going to have to give up ripping Reds.

As someone who can’t function without showering in the morning, coffee is a pretty close second to things I can’t be productive without. I don’t care that it makes me run to the bathroom every morning around ten o’clock, and I don’t care that my teeth aren’t as white as they could be without it. If it means I’m going to get a couple more years at a retirement home, I’m all for it.

Hell, maybe I’ll test those red wine and champagne theories with my extra time too.

[via Town & Country]

Image via Unsplash

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Will deFries (Twitter / Instagram) is a Senior Writer at Grandex and the world's foremost authority on Sunday Scaries (Twitter / Instagram). Email me at

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