Nursery Rhymes For Postgrads

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Sleep well tonight knowing you only have to work 40 or more years before you retire/die.

Little Postgrad has her iPad,
But can’t find any wifi;
Can’t Tinder swipe, or Twitter gripe,
Because data plans are high

Peter, Peter leftover eater,
Had old Pei-Wei and drank Sprite by the liter;
He ate straight from last week’s tin foil,
Based on smell, the food was about to spoil.
Peter, Peter leftover eater,
His stomach groaned and he let out a squeaker;
He ran to the john, air spray in hand
And spent the rest of the day sitting on the can.

Gil Humplestead wanted a raise
Gil Humplestead gave himself praise
All the boss’s shouts and all the boss’s calls
Only proved to Gil that he’d had them by the balls

There was a young intern who worked in a cube
Work fucked her over so hard, she needed some lube;
They gave her files to file, but no recognition;
The 9-5 grind killed all her ambition.

Jack and Jill went to the bar
To check out Happy Hour.
Jack took shots and puked a lot,
And Jill began to glower

Shoutout to McGannon for creating such a lovable tool in Gil H.

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TN Bluegrass

Grow up, Peter Pan...Count Chocula.

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