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Facebook turned 12 today, so they decided to create “Friends Day” and the videos are everywhere. When you log into Facebook, you have the ability to view a video Facebook created just for you. It shows the profile pictures of some of your friends that you interact the most with, then some more friends, then some more pictures and a couple of your friends’ comments. Of course, the big finale is everyone that told you happy birthday to! You don’t remember the 30-50 people that never talk to you randomly telling you happy birthday on your wall? Well, Facebook wants to remind you today. The worst part? You can share the video. They are everywhere.
Please, stop sharing your Friends Day video.
We have already seen all these pictures when you put them up. We saw all the pictures you were tagged in. We saw you document your 3 week-long trip to Europe when you “studied” abroad. We saw your wedding pictures. We don’t need to see it all again. The music in the background of the video reminds me of a sorority recruitment video, and we’ve seen enough of those already. I don’t even know why I get on Facebook to begin with, but it’s definitely not to see a news feed full of video slideshows of all the profile pictures I have already seen.
Am I complaining? A little bit. Should I be working? Probably. But I’ve had enough. I just scrolled through my newsfeed and saw 6 of these fuckers in a row. When I get on Facebook, I want to see overhead Buzzfeed cooking videos, political arguments, baby pictures (some of these go too far), engagement announcements, and funny Worldstar videos, not friends day videos. Give me back my newsfeed so I can complain about that instead. I want to take those random quizzes that gain access to all your personal information. I want to see the girls from high school that are still stuck at home fighting with each other on Facebook (congrats to Casey on kid #3 with daddy #3). I want to see all the pictures of dogs my mom shares. Who doesn’t love Golden Retriever puppies?
It’s not even fitting for Facebook to call this “Friends Day.” Zuckerberg created some dumb slideshow that highlights all of our heavily edited social relationships. Sharing it only makes it worse because now everyone will be quietly comparing their friends day videos to other friends day videos. It’s just another reminder that there’s a bunch of people I’m “friends” with that I haven’t talked to in ages. Everyone tries to one-up each other, and good ole Zuck is just rolling around in his billions. He’s one of the richest people in the world, and it’s all because we became obsessed with this website in the past decade. The smart people are the ones who barely post at all, but just browse to laugh at all of the blind sharing. What ever happened to MySpace? Tom sold and got out of that quick because he’s a good man. I miss you, Tom. You were my first friend.
I’ll quit ranting now. I need to check out my newsfeed real quick. .