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As New Yorkers got pounded by inches of snow, they figured they could take (or give) a few more. Horny singles are taking to Craigslist in order to find a snow bunny to shack up and ride out the storm with. Literally.
Check out this enterprising bastard who wants to take his potential partners on a trip down memory lane before punching their ticket to Poundtown:
“Close your eyes for a second. Think back to when you were a kid bracing for a snowstorm to hit your town: That giddy feeling anticipation on a school night, just knowing you could wake up to your mom telling you that school was cancelled. That childish sense of awe as you press your nose up against the cold windowpane to take in the fresh blanket of white. That uncontainable excitement when you call your nearest friend and make plans for a snowball fight, or a snowman competition, or day of vegetabling on the couch amid the warmth of a fire.
Now fast forward to today. Were professionals, so we have no school to be cancelled. Were adults, so we cant have a play-date. Were ostensibly mature city-dwellers, so we cant roll around in the soon to-be brownish blackish snow.BUT WE CAN HAVE A SNOW DAY
As we sit on the brink of a major snowstorm and prepare for a nearly shutdown NYC, I’m seeking a single 20- or 30-something female who shares my excitement for snow days and wants to create the semi-romantic, mildly productive yet equally fun adult version. I’m talking endless movies, cookies, whiskey and red wine, occasional work on a strictly as needed basis, potential igloo making in a private garden and making out. The latter part obviously depends on attraction and compatibility and can of course escalate to more serious sexual acts, so lets chalk it up as a nice-have.
Email if interested, preferably with a photo. And dont hold back your excitement. Its a fucking snow day.”
Then there’s this guy, who wants you to shovel his sidewalk and then shovel his wiener into your mouth.
“Easy request here: come shovel my snow tonight and blow me. Is that too much to ask for?
Regular/sane guy here, in Marine Park, looking for someone local to take care of these two things for me. All I ask is your face pic up front. All you need to do is look acceptable to me (this means clean looks, not skeezy, normalish). It does not matter to me if you are a chick or a guy, as long as you can shovel decently and suck a mean cock. And NO ONE OVER 30, thanks.
no strings, no games, it is what it is… hit me up if interested. Can be real late tonite, as well. “
Hey, guy knows exactly what he wants, gotta give him credit for that. Man of simple tastes.
But if you really wanna get into some freaky shit, there’s always this guy:
“Looking for a pretty lady that has a fetish for cold. After making naked snow angels we will then proceed to have “hot” snow sex. I understand this is a very unique fetish so no experience is needed!”
Are there really cold fetishes? Are people into being…cold? I don’t know.
Well, if you’re a New Yorker looking to get your rocks off during snowstorm Juno, take a look and hope you find someone within walking distance..
[via Craigslist]
Image via Shutterstock
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@FireJayTas
So did you shovel for him?
A gentleman never shovels and tells.
http://newyork.craigslist.org/fct/cas/4865710694.html
Tinder > CraigsList
Jay Tas always struck me as the kind of person to frequently check the personal ads in craigslist
JayTas always struck me as a person who shouldn’t have the job he has.
First guy definitely got laid, that was more well-written than anything JayTas has ever put out.