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From a court filing in the state of New York last month, Staten Island attorney Richard A. Luthmann is demanding a trial by combat.
Channeling his inner Tyrion Lannister, who requested a trial by combat after being accused of killing his nephew, King Joffrey, Luthmann is asking a judge to sanction a “trial by combat” in a civil suit where he is accused of helping a client commit fraud.
This potential lethal ruling is a way for Luthmann to highlight what he believes are absurd charges against him. He alleges that trials by combat were never outlawed in the U.S.
From SI Live:
The allegations made by plaintiffs, aided and abetted by their counsel, border upon the criminal,” Richard A. Luthmann wrote in a brief recently filed in state Supreme Court, St. George. “As such, the undersigned (Luthmann) respectfully requests that the court permit the undersigned to dispatch plaintiffs and their counsel to the Divine Providence of the Maker for Him to exact His divine judgment once the undersigned has released the souls of the plaintiffs and their counsel from their corporeal bodies, personally and or by way of a champion.”
Luthmann said he seeks trial by combat – a fight to the death by the disputants or their stand-ins – in the event the case against him is not dismissed.
Trial by combat, Luthmann contends, was never outlawed in the United States or in New York state.
“They want to be absurd about what they’re trying to do, then I’ll give them back ridiculousness in kind,” said Luthmann, an admitted fan of “Game of Thrones,” the smash HBO series based on the George R.R. Martin books in which three disputes have been settled in its five seasons through bloody trials by combat.
I know that lawyers are not the most lovable people, and I have no idea whether or not the accusations leveled against Luthmann are warranted or not, but I don’t care. This guy, who seems like he has a little Saul Goodman in him, has my complete and total support. Anybody willing to bring legal GoT practices into everyday life, especially in-between seasons, is a decent person in my book.
Should a judge allow this, let’s broadcast it to the world (cc: HBO), I hope Luthmann, who I guess would have the opportunity to appoint someone to fight on his behalf (?), will choose to fight for himself. But if he doesn’t, maybe we can get Floyd Mayweather and Manny Pacquiao to go at it one more time, without all the weak shit like “hugging” and “referees” and “rules” and “no weapons.”
That would be the only reason to ever shell out $100 for pay-per-view again..
[via SI Live]
Image via YouTube
Two lawyers enter, one lawyer leaves. THUNDERDOME!!!
I’m picking this guy.