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Jeb Bush has been pinned as boring. Everyone knows that. And the fact of the matter is, that’s probably true. But Jeb! And The Bush Crime Family, a book due out on February 16th, is trying to dispute Jeb’s dull reputations with allegations that Jeb was a closet cocaine abuser before his run at the presidency.
One of the passages in the book written by Roger Stone, a former White House aid who has also been self-dubbed as a “hit man for the GOP,” claims (via Radar):
“Jeb had snorted lines of cocaine at the vice president’s residence at the Naval Observatory on the night of Vice President George H.W. Bush‘s election to the presidency.
…
“A prominent Tallahassee lobbyist told me he had also snorted coke with Jeb Bush, which the [then-Florida] governor said he did largely out of boredom with the slow pace of the state capital.”
Now, to be fair, it was 1989 when Jeb was allegedly ripping gator tails at the Naval Observatory. And if you weren’t doing coke as a 26-year-old in 1989, what were you even doing with your life? Doing blow in the late ’80s was like smoking cigarettes in ’60s. It was pretty much on par with breathing.
Stone goes on in the book with even more outlandish allegations regarding Jeb smuggling cocaine into Florida:
“Legendary CIA drug smuggler and pilot Barry Seal claimed to his Miami lawyer Richard Sharpstein that he had orchestrated an elaborate sting at the Opa-locka airport in which the DEA got videotape of Jeb and his brother George W. Bush bringing a kilo into Florida for resale,”
Now, I’d understand if Jeb was taking key bumps with his buddies randomly. But to allege that he and 43 were smuggling a kilo into Florida to hustle on the low? Seems a little far-fetched to me, but hey, I’m no Alonzo Harris so I’m not here to say they did or didn’t hustle blow.
It wouldn’t surprise me if Jeb released this news to get a little of his edge back. He’s like the old guy at the tailgate who might not be all that welcome, only to throw a Hail Mary by telling a fabricated story about how much snow he used to plow back at the house in the ’80s just to get a little credibility amongst the younger crowd.
And honestly? It just worked wonders for me. Imagine him ripping his shirt open after horking a line like he did when he revealed the Rowdy Gentleman shirt, Superman-style.
#Jeb2016 .
[via Radar]
Image via Andrew Cline / Shutterstock.com
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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This should really get the minority voters to support him. Shrewd move, Jeb.
Minorities do cocaine? I thought white people had the lockdown on coke and meth. Minorities are crack, no?
Who do you think I buy my cocaine from? Minorities are complaining about no jobs, well, Jeb has a job for you!
I guess that explains all the mirrors in his office.
Jeb is still at bored office worker drug use level. I want to see him washing down qualudes with some whiskey and then smacking up some black tar before ripping The Star Spangled Banner on guitar while having some blots of LSD imbedded in his tie that’s wrapped around his forehead.
That would definitely earn my vote
this article makes him 1000% more electable