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I’ve never been a big phone guy. For phones, and technology in general, I am not quite in the laggard stage of adoption, but would certainly be in the late majority. I have, or had as it were, an iPhone 6s. Recent enough that I fit in, but not on the cutting edge of technology. As late as 2013 I was still rocking a blackberry. I was proud to be that guy. I loved that I didn’t need my phone to survive and I proudly scoffed at people whose lives were meaningless without a constant stream of apps and information.
On Saturday my world was changed.
I attended college in Austin, TX. It is a lovely city and a wonderful place to be 21. After a few years of debauchery on Sixth Street, I said goodbye to the city in 2012. This past Presidents’ Day Weekend, I went back for a wedding. It was good to see old friends and celebrate love. After the reception ended a group of us, drunk on wine and nostalgia, decided it would be a good idea to relive the glory days and head to Dirty Sixth (cue Ron Howard saying, “It was not a good idea.”). Several rounds and several bars later, we found ourselves at Peckerheads at 1:45am. It was at this moment I decided I needed to snapchat my friends. I checked my pockets for my phone. No luck. Checked my jacket nearby. Empty. Now Peckerheads at last call is not exactly the easiest place to get around, but I did my best to check each bar they have and look around where we were all dancing. Still nothing. I chalked it up as another casualty of Sixth Street, borrowed a buddy’s phone to put my phone in lost mode, and went back to the hotel.
Sunday morning arrived, I check the cloud and sure enough the phone is still at Peckerheads. A few minor problems. One, Peckerheads was now closed and would not open until Tuesday. Two, check out of the hotel was at noon. Three, we were headed back to Dallas where I would spend a day seeing family, and would then catch a flight to Chicago, where I now live. The old me, the one who still thought phones weren’t that important, shrugged and said he would figure it out later. Sunday I got by using facebook messenger, gchat, and twitter to communicate my situation and let people know how to contact me if they needed. The problems began on Monday.
Problem Number 1: I had agreed to meet my brother and his wife for lunch near the DFW airport. After agreeing on a location and time, I time travelled back to 1997. I had to pre-book a cab (no uber). Hope it showed up on time (can’t call and confirm). Give them an address and pray we are going to the right place (can’t check google maps along the way). Walk into a restaurant blindly hoping my group is still going to make it (can’t text to let them know I’m there). And finally, sit there quietly and wait (no phone to waste time). It. Was. Miserable. I had never been more stressed in my life. Luckily, things worked out. My brother and sister-in-law made it and after some quality family time they dropped me off at the airport.
Problem Number 2: I had to survive the airport, flight, and journey home with no phone. Luckily, airport kiosks still print boarding passes. I had not used a paper boarding pass in probably 3 years but I managed. After getting through security, I had to find a way to kill 4 hours. I was in no mood to drink after a long weekend so that was out. I bought a book and sat down at my gate praying there would be no change (how would I know without updates from the AA app). I enjoy reading and people watching, but to do so for four hours in the airport, then another two on the plane was not ideal. I landed in Chicago and caught the train into the city. By that point I was going on seven hours of reading and people watching, I had finished my book, and was now just a creepy guy on the L without anything to look at. Finally, I make it to my apartment and can get on my laptop to send a message to family and friends to let them know I am alive.
Problem Number 3: Everyday life without a phone is miserable. I’m not saying you should be on your phone at all times, but seriously how do people go without? Want to text your friends to get dinner? Can’t. Want to check Instagram or Snapchat on the train ride to work? Can’t. Want to have something to look at while you’re going to the bathroom? Can’t. I went to a coffee shop this morning and bought 2 newspapers just so I could have something to read throughout the day. I have never felt more disconnected or more helpless.
Problem Number 4: I am stuck in limbo with getting a new phone. I sent Peckerheads a Tweet and Facebook message but have not heard back. Do I wait and see if they respond? Even if they do respond, am I even sure if they will FedEx it back to me? Do I drop money on a new one and just chalk it up as a lost cause? Or do I break out the old 2012 blackberry just so I can rejoin the 21st century? I am open to answers if you have them, but honestly it all just seems hopeless at this point.
It has only been 2 days and already I am broken. I thought I could survive without a phone. I thought I was one of those people who didn’t need one. I’ve never been so wrong and I will never be the same..
Image via Ricardo Garza / Shutterstock.com
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Andrew Hatch
I went into entirely too much debt for a law degree I don't use. Chicago, IL. Email me at ahatch0522@gmail.com
@txhatch
@txhatch
Can’t you just have one of your friends in Austin go pick it up and FedEx it to you? Or how about Willy deFries helps you out.
Someone is grabbing it tonight
Good work, folks. We look forward to welcoming you back to the 21st century, Andrew.
The move is to have multiple burner phones. Not for drugs or shady business dealings but purely for loading them up with a plethora of dick pics from multiple angles and hairdos. Def don’t have a password lock on the phones and then strategically “lose” them in bars with women in them. It’s all about planting seeds and with this type of planting of seeds, you don’t have to worry about the responsibilities of raising another dumbass human and tying yourself down to a life of working just to hope your kid succeeds enough to help fund your retirement lol
And I’m willing to bet there is some poor girl in Austin wondering why you didn’t text her back. Andrew Hatch at his finest, glad to have you back safe.
My man
Smart phone withdrawal is hands down one of the worst feelings
If I lose my phone I chalk it up as an IMMEDIATE loss. I never expect for my phone to be returned. You should definitely just buy a new phone. Also the thought of being in an airport without a phone sounds miserable.
Seems covered but I’m in Austin. Next time..sup?
Lost my phone night one in Hong Kong, at least you’re in the states
I always travel with a spare in my bag. Even though I hate using my phone for communicating with people, I love Spotify and the internet.
This might be the new move.
Name checks out
The Touching Base guys should definitely work their connects for this guy and get his phone to him. Or at least the PGP community in Austin. Save a life.
This just gives you the opportunity to close a deal via payphone. Even Dave can’t say that.