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It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of double dates. I’m tired of making small talk with my girlfriend’s friend’s boyfriend with whom I have nothing in common while I massacre a canvas at a “wine and paint” night. I’m tired of getting in an unspoken dick-measuring contest with another couple about whose Instagram picture is cuter and who’s better at pretending we can afford to drop a bill on sushi for the third time this month. However, since double dates are clearly not going anywhere, I’ve decided I should at least find a compatible couple to accompany us on them.
If you think you can be the other 2/4ths of our date night, please email your answers to nickarcadiapgp@gmail.com or direct message me.
1. How old do you act? Please note that I don’t give a shit how old you actually are. If you both just turned 21, but have been “over the bar scene” since you first set foot in one, we probably won’t be your fit. If you guys are on the wrong side of 30 but have blacked out on a weeknight in the last month, our double dates probably won’t be sustainable but it’ll be fun while it lasts.
2. What is the average cost of your dates? If you have no problem dropping three bills on tickets to a show and slamming $10 beers at the arena, I respect you, but I can’t hang with you. I’m looking to maximize my fun to cost ratio without having my girl wonder if she can do better than me when you order a round of Veuve at brunch and I ask the waiter if they offer anything cheaper than Cook’s.
3. Other Boyfriend: Are you going to have my back on what kind of dates we go on? Let’s be real, most of our dates are going to have no interest to us outside of making our girlfriend’s happy. But for every time we go apple picking, ice-skating, or to the fucking aquarium (like fish aren’t the most boring animal in existence), I’m going to want a date that I actually enjoy. If there’s playoff football on and our girlfriends are thinking of doing a walking tour of Christmas lights, are you going to back me up when I suggest we go to the bar instead? I can’t do this alone man. If you get live sports streaming to your phone and let me watch it, you’re automatically in.
4. Other Girlfriend: An average, how many pictures do you take per date? Obviously, I don’t want zero photos to be taken since I put on pants that didn’t have an elastic waistband for this. And as much as I love my girlfriend, her Instagram game is weak AF. However, I also don’t want to have to stop the activity every thirty seconds to take “candid” photos of you two laughing at nothing.
5. Is there a date that you would prefer not to consume alcohol for, and if so, will you judge me if I do? If you’re going to have a problem with me having a few whiskey-gingers at home before we go to the zoo and subsequently heckling all the animals, this just isn’t going to work.
6. What kind of drunk couple are you? What happens when you’ve had three vodka-sodas or whiskey-waters a piece? Do you start a heated argument about a topic that neither of you have any knowledge of, let alone care about? Will you end up obviously sneaking away to bang in the bathroom and then try to deny it when you come back? Will you become a fountain of bad ideas, egging us all on until we’re in jail, or worse, at a River North nightclub? There are no bad answers.
7. What are your pet names for each other? Do you stay basic with “babe” and “baby?” Do you go full married couple with “hun” or “sweetheart?” Are you way too sexual or romantic like “my big stallion,” or “love of my life?” I really need to know.
8. What was the best date you’ve been on? This lets me see what kind of vibe y’all are putting out, and what elements you find necessary for a good date. For reference, my favorite was watching the Cubs win game five of the World Series from the rooftop bleachers outside of Wrigley field. My girlfriend’s top pick would probably be going to pumpkin farm/haunted house combo and watching me scream like a little girl while teenagers dressed like zombies jumped out at us. To each their own.
9. How long have you been together? No offense, but I’m not trying to hang out with people in the puppy stages of a relationship. I want an established couple that can go a few hours without having their hands all over one another and whispering sweet nothings into ears. All that shit is just going to make my girlfriend question our relationship and force me to start doing it. Before you know it we’re in a heated “relationship-off” and I’m buying her roses on my phone while making sweet, sensual love on the blanket we were using for our picnic. Now all the food is ruined! Is that what you want?
10. What are your intangibles? What do you bring to the table that other couples don’t? Do you have connections with the hosts at the hottest new brunch spot? Do you guys have any hilarious inside jokes/traditions that we could be brought in on? Do you have a timeshare in Hawaii that we will eventually be invited to? Please say you have a timeshare. .
Taking applications for a girlfriend so you can respond to double date applications, PGP.
No submissions. PGP
I gave up on making friends with these guys after the last one kept mentioning how “blessed” different situations were. Then he sent back an El Tiempo margarita because it wasn’t good. (El Tiempo margs are hands down the best margaritas in Houston).
So yes, I’m taking applications as well.
Sending back an El T margarita is probably a cardinal sin. Glad you ditched that goob. Gotta admit I prefer their Mexican martinis, though, don’t @ me
I don’t know why a Houston PGP event hasn’t happen….it should
Matt’s El Rancho (Austin) has better margaritas than El Tiempo. BUT, El Tiempo has better food and I don’t think it’s even close. @ me.
Will, I respect you and I’m sure you’re a great guy but, your opinion on the margs is wrong.
What about that queso at Matt’s El Rancho though….Easily the best I’ve ever had.
Which El Tiempo? I need to know what part of town we’re talking about.
Richmond and Buffalo Speedway
I’m familiar and we have ended up next door on several occasions, so you know we’re down for a good time.
Next door as in the bar or strip club? If you’re taking your lady to a titter after a dinner date, that’s next level and I respect it.
Titter
If crushing margs and fajitas then walking next door to a shake junt is the plan, we’re in.
all about the 1308 annex location
I’ve never made it further than the touchy-feely phase of the relationship. PGP.
Next time you’re in Dallas, y’all hit me up. I don’t have connections or a brunch spot, but I do have family with some land and a nice gun collection.
What part of Dallas?
Knox-Henderson area
We’re neighbors.
Lower Greenville, where are we watching the game tonight
What’s your go to spot?
If y’all haven’t tried it, Haymaker just opened a couple weeks back on the lowest part of Greenville. Was a pretty cool spot when I went by for a game
There’s one in Houston – great beer, not a great sports bar (at least here)
I’m thinking of Haymerchant. Disregard.
Haymerch was pretty fun when I stumbled in during a Nebraska game a few weeks back when I was visiting some friends. Must be an alumni bar or something.
Go Badgers!
Might see you there for the game tonight then. Otherwise I’m staying on the couch with my keg
So has anyone here started that PGP Reddit? There’s an r/postgradproblems but no posts.
Can we just get a GroupMe?
Im pretty sure traffic to this site would die quickly if we did, that and work production would be all time low
or slack?
https://www.reddit.com/r/PostGradProblem Fuck it. We can use it or ignore it
The new guy has a beach house, a lake house and a mountain house. Just saying.
but does he run up the mountain in the morning?
Double-date sup?
2 years, blow all our money every weekend. Night clubs are never a good idea, tend to bring out das boot frequently.
Halligan every Sunday at 12. There are at least 3-4 couples in our group there a week and we’ve all been dating 1 1/2+ years so we mostly just drink $2 beers and watch football