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I’ve been the subject of bullying in the workplace. It’s not something I can bring to human resources. It’s not something that anyone is trying to keep under wraps. No one is defending me while everyone is sweeping it under the rug and acting like my emotions don’t matter.
I sit at my desk while people make wise cracks, point, and laugh. They ostracize me and use my ignorance against me to defeat me emotionally when I’d much rather be doing work.
This isn’t because I have some sort of outlandish views on controversial topics. It’s not because I don’t fit in with everyone surrounding me in my cubicles. It isn’t because I’ve created enemies through my work. It’s all because I don’t watch Game of Thrones.
Every Monday morning, someone shouts over my desk to an adjacent office, “Hey, you watch Thrones last night?” They launch into a conversation using words that I can’t decipher. I don’t know if they’re fictional worlds, species of dragons, or character names that people wouldn’t be able to read off a piece of paper if it weren’t said on the television show.
In favor of watching an hour of fantasy to close out my weekend, I indulge in situational comedies that don’t keep me on the edge of my seat. They’re light, fast, entertaining, and last no more than thirty minutes.
But Game of Thrones is a cult unlike any cult I’ve ever seen before. From the second I wake up on a Sunday, people are counting down on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram alike. Between one-upping each other and posting gifs of characters dressed in chainmail and Robin Hood-esque robes, I can’t even get a word on online if I’m not actively, obsessively, and relentlessly entering the Thrones conversation.
Scarily, this cult has bled into the workplace. And it’s not just me. My other non-Game of Thrones watching coworkers are feeling the heat as well. One was even victimized for her love of Harry Potter after she declared that she does not, in fact, watch Game of Thrones. This girl has spent countless hours reading Harry Potter books in addition to watching the movies but is now reduced to a “childish fangirl” by a bunch of people who probably have never picked up a Game of Thrones book, let alone know that there even is a series of books.
I sit here hoping no one notices me. I pray that no one asks if I’m caught up. I hope that no one tells me to “cover my ears” for fear of spoilers as if I’m somehow current on the fifty episodes leading up to that moment. But when I mutter, “Oh, no, I don’t watch Game of Thrones,” it’s an all-out bloodbath.
“How can you not watch Game of Thrones?” they ask before telling me that I “know nothing” and “can’t talk” because I’m uneducated in the Thrones realm. I, a grown man, sit coyly at my desk listening to full-grown adults discuss a fantasy drama television series for the better part of an hour every Monday morning during a season’s run. It’s like they can’t hear themselves. It’s like they don’t realize that they’re discussing wards, kings, ghosts, magic, and dragons that all exist in a fantasy land. But somehow I’m the weirdo for not partaking. It makes no sense.
I feel helpless. I’m not going to catch up on 50+ hours of television just to feel a part of their nerd herd. I don’t have that kind of time and my futile attempts to watch the first episode of season one has ended in me being asleep on my couch forty minutes in.
I don’t know where to go or what to do. At this point, my only choice is to start watching this season solely so I can spoil it for them. Assholes. .
Listen to Episode 1 of Oysters, Clams, and Cockles — A ‘Game of Thrones’ Podcast, also known as the root of my bullying.
Image via Shutterstock
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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I bet he watched Temps though.
Hey, have you heard? it’s available to rent on iTunes! *insert eye roll*
If you have time rewatch Love Actually every other week you have time to slowly but surely catch up on GOT. You deserve any bullying you get over this.
Just read the last book that came out and then be the guy who tells people every difference between the show and the book. Out-douche them.
Don’t you have some moving to do, mayonnaise tits?
She went out to get embroidered his and her towels. I’ve got about 2 more hours of free time.
Which was a valid strategy… until the show surpassed the books last Sunday.
You can’t bring it to human resources because y’all still haven’t hired me to be your HR guy. Also, I’d probably toss a “You know nuthin’, Jon Snow” your way if you did bring it to me.
Do they have an HR department? Genuinely curious.
For a company of less than 50 people, I would imagine most typical HR functions would be split between Madison, Nick (SVP of Operations), and maybe Dave for the legal side of things. Most companies that size will outsource a majority of HR functions.
I just figured Dillon cut paychecks out of his free candy van at noon on Fridays before taking off early.
As they should, you peasant.
Whoever does your podcast intro music (same goes for Touching Base) needs a raise.
Not going to lie, GoT is addicting. The first season is confusing, especially if you haven’t read the books, but if you’re able to get through it, it gets better and better. I refuse to discuss it in the work place since I hate all my co-workers but it’s a good watch. The level of ruthlessness can bring the Sunday scaries though.
Dillon’s over here like
You once said that you agree with about 10% of my comments, now I see why.