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There are ways to optimize your Tinder or Bumble profile. Your first picture is a group shot? Left. I don’t want to turn into a private investigator just to figure out which one you are only to realize you’re not the hottest one and get unjustifiably upset. With another guy? Nope. I don’t like getting jumped at bars by jealous exes or dudes who were scraping to get out of the friend zone. Marilyn Monroe or Audrey Hepburn quote? Pass.
But up until this moment in my life, I had no idea that the simplest part of your profile had so much to do with whether or not you have a better chance of getting a match. Tinder pulled the data to show which names are most likely to get a right swipe, and they truly could not get more generic.
Ranging from December ’15 to November of this year, these are the most-swiped male names.
Male
1. Lucas
2. Ryan
3. Matthew
4. Nick
5. Josh
6. Brandon
7. Justin
8. Ben
9. Adam
10. Andrew
This sounds like the senior class of a prep school lacrosse team or the lineup of groomsmen at a private country club wedding. Their closets are filled with the same set of shirts: the token J. Crew check shirt, a variety of light blue oxfords, and some fall plaids that they wear while playing a game of backyard football with their family solely so their girlfriends can Instagram them while wearing the Han Solo outfit.
Oh, and speaking of the girlfriends, these were the most-swiped female names.
Female
1. Hannah
2. Emma
3. Lauren
4. Julia
5. Emily
6. Rachel
7. Samantha
8. Katie
9. Anna
10. Sara
Alpha Phi Pledge Class, Spring ’07. It’s like the cast of a Babysitter’s Club reboot starring only members of The Mickey Mouse Club’s daughters. It’s like someone shut their eyes and pointed at the yearbook of an all girls elementary school from the year 1994.
But hey, at least it’s better than the most-matched names in 2030 which will consist largely of dudes named Sawyer and Jax who are dating Sophias and Evas who all call their dads “papa.”
[H/T Complex]
Respond
Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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So a bunch of white people right-swiping each other?
Pretty sure I’ve never looked at the girls name until it’s a match
Pretty much. Looking at names is like looking at other pictures: it’s 3-5 seconds per girl that you’ll never get back unless it’s a match.
I look at names every now because I’m weirded about going out on a date with a guy with my brother’s name.
My little sister dated a guy with my name for a 2 or 4 years. I was pumped when they broke up.
I’m an only child so no problem there
2 or 4 years?
I was expecting all the female names to be: Monica, Erica, Rita, Tina, Sandra, Mary, and Jessica.
I personally think Jessica should be number 1 but that’s just me.
What about Shamika, Keisha, Tara, shawna, Sabrina, Crystal, Derhonda, Lisa, Felicia, Tonicia Shavon?????
Freek a leek!
I see what you did here… *gold clap* Nice throw back.
Sometimes when I’m sober for a few hours I actually try.
Lou bega was such a classic
I see what you did there
Maybe my name is the reason I’m not getting any matches. Yeah, that’s gotta be it.
Coincidentally, also the most common names… weird.
My name didn’t make this list and my master’s degree didn’t make the other list for 2016. Couldn’t be more mediocre if I tried.
Sup?
Proudly crushing it at number 7 on the list. Need to step up my game, trying to get in the top 5 next year.
Okay, or these are just really common names from 1986-94