Most Desperate Dude Ever Calls 911 To Creep On Dispatcher And Brag About His Muscles

The singles game can be tough. Trolling the bar scene can be difficult, and nobody really knows which dating app is the legit one and which one is the sketchy one. Sometimes you’re looking for love in all the wrong places, and all you can do is dial 911 and run some game.

That’s exactly what 44-year-old Eduardo Raoul Garcia did during a solo camping retreat in Florida’s Lake Griffin State Park. For those of you keeping score at home, the fact that Garcia was camping alone is actually the second red flag. The first is, well, the whole Florida thing. According to the Orlando Sentinel, Garcia dialed 911 and began bragging about his big muscles. Before you judge, who among us hasn’t done that before? Naturally, Garcia then asked whether the dispatcher was single. No word on her status.

Oh, no…

Per the Orlando Sentinel:

Police said Garcia called back twice and asked if the dispatcher was single. Fruitland Park Police Department traced the call to Lake Griffin State Park and asked park officials if they had seen anyone who was intoxicated.

The park ranger told police they did have a man who checked in that afternoon who looked confused and was easily angered.

Police went to the man’s campsite and found Garcia.

Police said he was lying in his tent with an open beer can and had three more cold ones by his side.

When police placed Garcia in handcuffs, Garcia allegedly told an officer he wanted to head butt and kill him.

Yep, this has all the hallmarks of a sexual failure induced bender: soul-searching camping trip, 911 calls, a few cold ones within reach, and of course, a death threat. Police also said that Garcia spit through the cage in the back of the cruiser onto one of the officer’s heads. Not cool. Never spit on another man. That’s assault, brotha. Actually, it’s battery on a law enforcement official, and Garcia is being charged with it as well as misuse of the 911 system.

[via Orlando Sentinel]

Image via Shutterstock

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Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

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