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Every morning, we gather here to contemplate, plan, soak up inspiration, harvest motivation, and get jacked up on coffee and confidence for a day of kicking ass.
WAKE UP SLEEPY HEAD. TIME AND TIDE WAIT FOR NO MAN. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND CATCH THE BIG FISH. SMALL FISH ARE FOR LOSERS. THROW THE SMALL FISH BACK. BETTER YET, HOOK SEVERAL SMALL FISH UP TO YOUR LINE AND USE THEM TO CATCH THE BIG FISH. THE BIG FISH IS GLORY. GRAB GLORY BY THE DICK AND SHAKE IT UNTIL MONEY COMES POURING OUT OF ITS MOUTH. NOW TAKE THAT MONEY, DRIVE TO THE NEAREST CASINO, PUT IT ALL ON BLACK AND DOUBLE DOWN. THEN TAKE THAT PILE OF CASH, DOUSE IT IN GASOLINE, LIGHT A CIGAR, TAKE A FEW PUFFS AND TOSS IT INTO THE PILE. WARM YOURSELF BY THE FIRE. WHY? YOU DON’T NEED THAT PILE. YOU CAN JUST MAKE ANOTHER PILE. YOU’VE GOT A WHOLE BRAIN FULL OF PILES. WHAT’RE YOU, SCARED? FEAR IS FOR LOSERS. DON’T GET SCARED, GET MAD. GET MAD AS HELL. YOU’RE A HUMAN BEING GOD DAMN IT. YOUR LIFE HAS VALUE.
Today’s message is for all the people out there that hate their jobs. The folks who wake up miserable every morning, stand in the shower hoping a meteor will hit their apartment, praying they’ll hit every red light on the way to work, dreading every hour ahead of them, and daydreaming of creative ways to kill their boss with every moment of their free time while on the clock.
Look, everyone grows up being told, “You can do whatever you want when you grow up!” Then you grow up and learn that’s a total crock of shit. Not everybody is going to find a job they absolutely love. That’s just not realistic. But you sure as shit shouldn’t have a job that you hate. At least not for too long. Your days are numbered. You can’t be wasting away doing something you don’t even remotely enjoy with the majority of your life. That’s absurd. What kind of idiot would do that? A crazy amount of people do, though. So what should you do if you don’t like something? Change it.
I’m not saying you should quit your job on a whim and wander the earth until you find your calling. That’s as equally insane as working a job you hate forever, and if everyone that hated their jobs quit at the same time, the global economy would collapse. But get the ball rolling. Keep your eyes open. Search out new opportunities. Refuse to be satisfied with a position you don’t like. Use your experience at the shit job you hate to get the next job that you hate a little less, and so on and so on until one day you’re doing something that doesn’t make you unhappy. Being unhappy is for losers.
My hope is that at least one person will get fired today for opening their office window and repeatedly yelling, “I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take this anymore!” If that happens, my life will be complete.
Lose yourself and toss the mic.
What’s on the schedule this morning? What are you going to conquer today? How are you going to use this 24 hours to change your life for the better? Let us know in the comments section below. Positivity only. Build the energy. Come correct or don’t come at all..
Respond
Ross Bolen
Ross Bolen is a New York Times Bestselling author, co-host of the Oysters, Clams & Cockles: Game of Thrones podcast, co-host of the Back Door Cover sports podcast, 2017 Masters attendee, bigger and more loyal Rockets, Astros and Texans fan than you, cheese enchilada aficionado, and nap god.
@WRBolen
@WRBolen
WRBolen
Morning friends. Last night’s dinner with clients went well. Too well. One of them was a (physically) big dude from SEC country. Man can put away drinks. Keeping a respectable one Old Fashioned behind him got me hammered. Wasn’t expecting that on a Tuesday to be honest. When I got home, the girlfriend somehow noticed that I was drunk as a skunk (maybe it was because I tipped over and fell on my face trying to take my loafers over…Not sure). She forced me to down a nightcap of water and force fed me some mac and cheese (out of the pot, while I was semi-conscious in bed). Woman saved me from feeling like death today. Sipping on cup o Joe number 1 right now and trying to figure out how I repay her
Cunnilingus
Munch box.
Eat that taco
Let her sit on your face
via GIPHY
I think there’s a pretty clear consensus here about what needs to happen. Thanks for the help, guys. Looks like I’ll be having two dinners tonight
Touch base with us tomorrow and update.
Will do. #DCO
Chuck you’ve got yourself a keeper
Lotta little bullshit bitch work to take care of today, Billy. Gonna be a slow one. On the bright side, Spring Training starts in 5 days, so we got that going for us, which is nice.
JUST STARTED A MONTH AGO AND TODAY IS MY FIRST CLIENT MEETING AND DESIGN REVIEW. GONNA MAINLINE THIS COLOMBIAN BLEND
If by “blend” you mean Columbian coffee and not the other Colombian blend, I do not recommend. Direct injection is bad juju for the ticker.
However you can snort it for a sweet effect.
Can confirm. Avoid consuming hot liquids intravenously
Ps, the Colombian blend is some very average grocery store coffee in drinking out of a tumbler…
Today starts like every other day. First cuppa shit-colored sunshine primes me, second gets me goin, third gets the juices flowin.
I’ve learned to start my day with a completely silent drive to work. No music, no radio, no talk. Mornings are for coffee and contemplation. For some reason, it keeps me from wanting to stab the first sphincter-licking buttshark that tries to start conversation in the morning. Today, it’s Steve. Again. As always. I don’t think he’s caught on to the pattern of chirpy response, sullen grunt.
He comments on my struggle to be a morning person, which is a severe fuckup if your entire goal is to actually start a conversation in which I’m not pissed off. You’re right I’m not a morning person, but fuck are you an idiot, because your definition of “morning person” is more like “empty shell of a personality that just shoves whatever emotions you THINK your boss wants to see in there, and plasters a corny Colgate smile on in the morning in a sad attempt to convince yourself just as much as everyone else that you don’t hate your entry-level, bullshit ridden, chock full of fuck-fuck games excuse for a job.”
Now where the fuck are the coffee grounds.
GOT PROMOTED AND HAVE BEEN TRAINING FOR THE NEW POSITION ALL WEEK SO JUST GOING TO KEEP RIDING THE WAVE ALL THE WAY INTO THE WEEKEND BABY
FROM THE VERIFIED PGP ACCOUNT OF THE 45TH POTUS:
THE DISHONEST MEDIA IS CLAIMING THIS IS A TROLL ACCOUNT. WRONG. I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT THIS IS THE VERIFIED PGP ACCOUNT OF THE 45TH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, DONALD J. TRUMP. BELIEVE ME, THIS IS A REAL ACCOUNT. MY MUSINGS ARE TERRIFIC, TRUELY TERRIFIC. EVER HEAR OF MY BOOK ‘ART OF THE DEAL’? BEST!
THIS MORNING I WILL INSTRUCT MY SENIOR STAFF TO HAVE A BUMPER STICKER COMMISSIONED FOR THE 2020 CAMPAIGN WITH THE WORDS ‘MY OTHER PLANE IS AIR FORCE ONE’.
Get out.
This so called “real Donald Trump” is an absolute liar. I am the real Postgrad POTUS. Everyone knows I have the best coffee thoughts. The best! They can be found among the most maginicient retailers and stores around the world. His coffee thoughts are lukewarm at best and belong on the clearance rack. SAD!
There are several Tim Riggins, might as well be a few copycat Donny’s
Everyone here knows I am the original, and greatest Trump account to grace Postgrad Problems. I have the most upvoted comments in the history of PGP, just ask Sean Spicer.
I don’t know why everyone hates this, I’m legitimately enjoying this.
JC is a total winner. Did you get the MAGA hat my people sent?
It’s a great concept but poor execution
Eh, that bumper sticker line is pretty funny.
We’ve made it to Hump Day. I’ve got five stories to complete by the end of the week, and you bet your ass I’m motivated to get them all done early. Overcome the obstacles. You ready? Get hyped. Follow Me.
Pitchers and Catchers report to Spring Training in 5 days. The World Baseball Classic begins in a month. Masters week is in two months….Spring is coming
Picking up a box of donuts and a fruit tray for the office. Gonna play with people’s self-control today.
BACK ON OUR BULLSHIT TODAY BOYS HIT THE HELICOPTER ONE TIME WHEN YOU ROLL OUT OF BED TO LET THE WORLD KNOW YOURE THE MF IN CHARGE TODAY YEE YEE