Monty’s Bad Fantasy Football Advice: How To Draft

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Throw away your cheat sheets, guides, magazines, and whatever other fantasy advice you grabbed from the Internet. You’re not going to need it anymore. I’m here to guide you to your league’s championship game. Follow these foolproof guidelines and you won’t even need to set your roster each week–it’ll be that good.

Draft Your Sleeper In Round One

I love sleeper picks. They can make or break a season. What really grinds my gears is when someone grabs your sleeper right before you do. How do I combat that? I draft ‘em early. I’m talking really early, too. No one is going to see my pick up of Khiry Robinson coming. Sure, Marshawn Lynch is available, but he’s a bag of Skittles away from being relegated to the flex. With your sleeper, you get a great RB2 or WR2.

Look Good, Feel Good, Play Good

This strategy is severely overlooked. It’s a theory that science has proved for years. When you look good, you play much better, so stop scouring through pre-season box scores and start breaking down film. Find out which players are wearing the best accessories. The more accessories, the higher the rank. You have to make sure you rank accessories right. One guy might overdo it, and you can’t have that. You’re trying to put out a winning team, not a try-hard team. LFP (Look good, feel good, play good) is an acronym that should be engrained in your mind while you’re drafting.

Defenses And Kickers Win Championships

How many times have you seen a big game come down to whether or not a defense can get a stop or a kicker can hit a big field goal? It’s crucial that you account for this in your draft strategy. You don’t want to be left high and dry when it comes to these two positions. I take my defense and kicker no later than the fifth round. When you’re equipped with the best defense in the league, your opponent won’t score any points on you. Should things be close, your stud kicker will come through in the clutch, like he’s paid to do. If you have to, draft ‘em in the first round. You don’t want someone catching onto your genius strategy.

Don’t Draft Based On Need

You’ve already picked up Drew Brees and Aaron Rodgers is staring you right in the face. Are you going to pass him up? Heck no! You draft him–you’re going to need him for Brees’ bye week. Not only are you picking up another golden arm, you’re keeping someone else from getting him. Think about that. Don’t trade him later on when you don’t need him, either. I mean, he’s Aaron Frickin’ Rodgers. You can’t trade that. You can never have too many players of the same position. You can always find your running backs in the late rounds, or as free agents after the draft.

Rookies, Rookies, Rookies

Brian Hoyer may have been named the starter in Cleveland, but I guarantee you Manziel will start by week six, which is just in time for your second half run. To bridge the gap to the Manziel weeks, draft Blake Bortles. Have you seen his girlfriend? You know that dude just performs on the field. Always pick the rookie over the proven veteran. Since they are usually further down on the depth chart, they are the least likely to get injured (and avoiding injuries is key to winning fantasy championships).

If All Else Fails, Ask A Buddy In The League

Everyone in the league is your friend. Listen to their advice. They will always have your best interests first. If Steve from accounting tells you that Ochocinco is a steal in round four, then you draft Ochocinco. Steve wouldn’t lead you astray.

Now that I have given you the keys to a successful draft, go out and build your championship roster. You can thank me later.

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Harrison Lee

Harrison is a Content Manager at Grandex. When he's not working for the man, you can find him on the golf course or blowing his paycheck doubling down on red. LinkedIn profile

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