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Listen up and listen good. There are few things I love more than reliving my glory days. If my Rollerblades still fit me and my street hockey stick wasn’t rotted to the point of no return, I’d be out in my driveway right this very moment recreating knucklepucks at a rapid clip. With my Detroit Vipers jersey draped over my childish frame, I was the toast of the block. If I got to harness that feeling in this day and age, I’d try to inject it into my veins with the intention of living forever.
But some things are better left in the past. Looking back with rose-colored glasses is a lot easier than admitting something sucks. I’m not sure if you’ve attempted to watch Boy Meets World recently but, outside of the outfits, it doesn’t exactly withstand the test of time.
When I heard the news that Disney is considering bringing back The Mighty Ducks for a television series, my eyes lit up. Charlie Conway. Guy Germaine. The Minnesota Miracle Man. Hell, I’d love to see what Connie Moreau is working with in 2018. But as I dove deeper and deeper into the logistics of this operation, I became more and more suspicious of what could be.
Look, I’m horned up for The Winter Olympics just as much as the next guy. The Ralph Lauren Dumb & Dumber gloves alone are enough to make me spend triple-digits despite the fact that I live in Texas.
But is it time we leave the Junior Goodwill Games championship winning team in the past? Do we need to bid adieu to The Ducks? To the Eden Hall Warriors? To the team that made all of us think we had what it took to rock Bauer gloves with a t-shirt and shorts?
I don’t know. Maybe I’ve become cynical in my own age. But I ask myself, “What’s the last thing I saw Joshua Jackson in?” The Skulls? Dawson’s Creek? I don’t even know. And it’s the same story with Emilio. Honestly, it’s probably better for him to stay out of the spotlight at this point for fear of some horror stories coming up in Hollywood. I bet the set at this Malibu beach house in D2 was absolutely wild.
I don’t mean to get ahead of myself. After all, per my sources, they haven’t even fully developed a script for this thing yet. Purely in the exploratory stages at Disney HQ. It’s alleged that the producers “have concocted a new story about the ragtag youth hockey team,” but it’s also possible this is some half-baked idea they came up with over some Molsons while watching The World Juniors.
I don’t ask much, but I’m going to ask of them this — please, whatever you do, just make sure you do the original films justice. And if that means not doing a series at all, that means not doing a series at all.
Oh, and Adam Banks is still the GOAT. .
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Will
Will (Twitter / Instagram) is the host of The Sunday Scaries Podcast.
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Charlie Conway, depressed after his divorce and failed tryout for a nearby EHL team, turns to drinking and wanders back to where it all began: the District 5/Ducksworth Ducks Ice Rink. Nearly in shambles, Conway encounters his old coach Gordon Bombay, who tells him that he’s bought the run-down rink for him to give Charlie the chance to find himself just as Bombay did all those years ago.
Conway sets out to repair the rink and bring District 5 it’s first championship since the OG Ducks. He recruits his daughter, a talented figure skater who always loved watching her dad play, along with some of the local talent to restart the Ducks (complete with original jerseys as well as alternates from D2). He’s joined behind the bench by his long-time friends Greg Goldberg and Fulton Reed as assistants, and the show chronicles the Ducks as they fight to reclaim glory, even fighting against the rival Hawks coached by the Cake-eater himself Adam Banks.
You’re welcome Disney.
From a column I wrote on September 4, 2015:
“But what do I really want, you ask? The year is 2016 in St. Paul, Minnesota. Washed up and all working odd jobs to make ends meet, Charlie Conway (who works in the same diner as his mom when Bombay was putting the screws to her) calls everyone up to form a beer league team. Out of shape and all facing adversities of their own, the team gives them reprieve from the daily grind. The R-Rated film gives us the ins and outs of the league which is fueled with beer, inter-team hook-ups, and a ton of Minnesota accents telling people to, ‘Go fuck themselves.'”
This is a Disney property Will, it’s gonna be kid-friendly. That said, 100% on board with this spin-off.
You can stop writing for the site now. This is your Apex.
The second I get the call to write/direct/star in D4 I’ll be out of here in a jiffy.
Got absolutely wasted with Goldberg a few years ago. Dude was a mess then and I don’t think he’s remotely sober now. Would bring a great comedic aspect as the wacky assistant coach.
Look man, I’m just trying to find a job. Don’t ruin this for me.
Joshua Jackson has actually been in a lot of stuff. He was one of the main characters in Fringe.
Also, if you want to see what Connie Moreau is working with, go watch Wet Hot American Summer on Netflix.
Sticking with my take. Not sure he’s been in anything since The Skulls (2000).
Will, you’re missing out. Sort of devolved into a mess, but Fringe had periods of greatness.
Get those gloves, beanie, and sweater on ManOutfitters.com if you want to take my money
Most remakes are a bad idea. “Full House” was one of my favorite shows as a kid. I avoided the remake because of the fact I didn’t want to see my childhood ruined.
D-3 is the best of the installments in my opinion. The Varsity JV showdown is a classic.
Interesting take but not one I disagree with.
It might not be the best in the series, but has a special place in my heart. I went to the school that they used for the Eden Hall Academy scenes. But D-2 has the roller blade scene that is straight fire, and brought us the knucklepuck.
Brags about going to Shattuck without actually bragging about going to Shattuck. Great all-time humble brag.