======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====
The elite of the work-stopping holidays is essentially a universally accepted bunch: Thanksgiving, Christmas, July 4th, and Easter. Being an accountant, it is fair to consider these the “Big Four” holidays. While many might make the argument that each one of these celebrations is better than the other, I am prepared to drop some language on you that will just fuck your shit up.
Memorial Day is the ultimate holiday. Memorial Day.
Yes- I said Memorial Day. I know, this is possibly the hottest opinion of 2016, but I wouldn’t put my head under the guillotine if I didn’t think I had a legitimate case.
Origin
Memorial Day became a federal holiday in 1868, three years after the Civil War ended to honor Union those who had fallen in battle. Originally known as Decoration Day, this annual recognition dedicated to Union veterans competed with the old Confederate’s Memorial Day, which honored only Confederate veterans, for nearly 40 years before the two were combined in the early 1900s to form the super-holiday of ‘Memorial Day’ we’ve come to know today.
Regardless of the holiday’s obscure history, celebrating veterans is just an American thing to do. When ESPN broadcasts the montage of troops reuniting with their family, I am guaranteed to turn on the waterworks. I get the same feeling of patriotism when they wheel out an old veteran from D-Day rocking his First Airborne hat at a baseball game. Pretty much everyone knows somebody who served in the military, so this holiday really doesn’t discriminate. Without the men and women who served our country, you would be drinking tea and eating flavorless food without like our friends across the pond. So when you’re sucking down a Budweiser and crushing a cheeseburger this weekend, just do a little Sammy Sosa point to the sky out of respect.
Duration
Memorial Day always takes place on the last Monday of May. Sure, Memorial Day is technically one day, and on a Monday to boot. That being said, unless you’ve never looked at a calendar, Monday is the day after a Sunday, therefore making this a three-day weekend. Americans love long weekends. It means that you only have four days of work instead of the traditional five. Since we don’t live in Spain where they sleep 12 hours a day, that extra day of debauchery is a huge morale booster and opportunity for recovery. That’s right — regardless of the calendar, it’s a guaran-damn-tee that every Memorial Day is going to grant you a three-day weekend, and you will not have to take any vacation at all to get your kicks in. Christmas and Fourth of July, though, cannot say the same regarding consistently extended weekends. Well, technically they’re set on December 25th and July 4th, Rooney. But take a guess what happens when July 4th falls on a Wednesday? That’s right, your boy is going back to work on Thursday. The same goes for Christmas. That means the day after I’ve stuffed my face with HoneyBaked Ham and sugar cookies, I somehow have to roll my ass out of bed and get to my cube. Easter being on a Sunday doesn’t really do anything for anyone, unless you went to Catholic school and got five days off after the fact. As for Thanksgiving, I work for a company that doesn’t give me the following Friday off. Sacrificing a vacation day is like cutting off an arm, which is why Memorial Day is the perfect length.
Season
For a lifetime resident of America’s breadbasket like myself, it is pretty much common knowledge that Memorial Day weekend represents the beginning of the summer. When you live in the Midwest, you never truly feel safe from the winter until you’ve made it to Memorial Day weekend. I’ve seen inches of snow in the beginning of May, and it has given me PTSD ever since. Winter is always coming in the Great Plains, so getting an extended weekend with some sun is a change of pace. Memorial Day weekend usually presents the opportunity to get tagged by the sun, which I embrace with open arms considering the alternative. Christmas, to me, is just a colder Thanksgiving. Sorry, but a white Christmas is overrated. It doesn’t make me any more excited about the holidays. If I could substitute snow-blowing my driveway for lying in a Vitruvian man position next to a cooler of barley pops on the beach, I wouldn’t think twice.
Activities
Just do something American. If I have to explain what an American activity is, then you’re not an American. Drink for 72 hours straight. Hit the links. Watch a baseball game. Eat hot dogs. See a concert and wear a killer Hawaiian shirt. For me, being near a body of water has become almost a necessity. Pontoon-boating in God’s country with the sun beating down is my favorite thing in the world. It gives me the feeling of freedom knowing the man can’t get me down until Tuesday. The summer is just beginning, and it’s just a taste of what is to come for the next three months. Some of my fondest memories have taken place over Memorial Day weekend including the time I had my first beer and when I graduated from high school. With memories like that, it is impossible to not enjoy this weekend. Whatever your plans are this weekend, just keep it American and you can be happy knowing George Washington would have done the same.
In all seriousness, this is a day you should be swollen with pride that you live in the land of the free and home of the brave. Having been a grandson to two WWII and Korea veterans, I stick my chest out a little further on this day every year. Whether or not you have relatives or friends who have served in the military, you should be honored at the fact that you live in a country that has some serious theoretical balls that isn’t afraid to walk into a party with them hanging out. So when you’re doing whatever it is that you like to do on this fine holiday, just take a moment to put your beer down and remember those who fought and paid the ultimate sacrifice..
Respond
Drinking this weekend with my buddy who made it back from Iraq, and drinking for his brothers in arms who didn’t. Well done, Rooney. Memorial Day kicks ass.
Start active at country of origin by the whole of Google! It’s right the best work I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a fresh on the wrong track of the box beautiful BMW as getting a browse for $6474 this – 4 weeks past.
Simply tap On This sort of Link……….TodayWeb60.ＣＯℳ
Power ranking summer holidays:
1. 4th of July: The best. Take enough PTO to make sure you have a good long weekend. You’re in the height of Beer, BBQ, Boats and Bikini season. Live it up.
2. Memorial Day: Still awesome, but the water isn’t really warm yet, it’s still maybe a little chilly at night, and summer is just starting to kick off.
3. Labor Day: Like 1AM at the bar, it’s a great time, but you’ve also got to make your move because the party’s about to end.
Might want to update your user name
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/ferris-buellers-mr-rooney-guilty-in-sex-case/
Name definitely still works.
And I look forward to a long weekend and the Monday Scaries
Was on a job last Memorial day so still had to work, though we did have a moment of silence where everyone put down their tools and played taps over the radios. Needless to say I’m psyched I have off this year.
Debated taking Friday off but 85% of the office will be gone and we’ll get to leave by 2 or 3 anyway so it really makes no sense to waste that personal day.
Also thanks for that last paragraph. My grandpa was a Marine and my uncle was a SEAL and they always celebrated but made us remember what the holiday meant.
Hardly a hot take, this was lukewarm at best. If you needed convincing of this then you should re-evaluate some things.
This made me sad. My Memorial Day weekend this year was commandeered by two weddings, one on Sat. and one on Sun. So I will be spending about the same amount of money I would to go on a Memorial Day Vacation; except I will be nowhere near the water and it will be considered “inappropriate” to go shoeless and shirtless the whole weekend, which is really want Memorial Day celebrations are all about…
It takes a special kind of terrorist to hijack a summer holiday weekend for their wedding.
And I guess I happened to be friends with two terrorists, it is a damn shame
I’m sure it’s their brides’ faults. Dudes are just collateral damage.
Additional bonus for Memorial Day – the “early dismissal” on the Friday before. You were probably going to leave at 2 or 3 pm anyway, but now that the office is closing for business at that time, it just makes it so much better.
Side note: the neighborhood pool opens up for the summer this weekend.
This is the first time in 11 years I won’t be lifeguarding during the summer and the busiest days were Memorial Day and Labor Day. Fucking insanity.