Maryland Man Pulls A Ross Geller And Freaks Out Over A Missing Bite Of His Sandwich

Maryland Man Pulls A Ross Geller And Freaks Out Over A Missing Bite Of His Sandwich

I don’t know about you, but when I get hangry, I get hangry. I need my food, and I need it immediately. I don’t want any delays, and I especially don’t want anyone to look at, touch, or even think about coming anywhere remotely close to the food I’m about to consume. That’s why it’s almost understandable to me that a Maryland man freaked the eff out when his wife took a bite out of his grilled cheese… until, that is, he decided to open fire on her. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a big fan of melted cheese in any form, but this might be stretching the limits of acceptable reactions juuuust a little.

Daniel Brian Blackwell’s wife was making dinner in the kitchen when she made the mistake of taking a bite of her husband’s grilled cheese sandwich. This was the last straw for Blackwell, who must have really been looking forward to that sandwich, as he opened fire in his home, shooting multiple rounds through his basement and causing his family to literally flee the scene. Upon the police’s arrival at Blackwell’s home, Blackwell was involved in a three-hour police standoff before he surrendered peacefully, and I can’t quite say I blame him – being enraged over someone else consuming your food almost justifies the behavior. Apparently, Mrs. Blackwell wasn’t a huge Friends fan, because if she had been, she should have known that this is the one behavior that’s completely off-limits.

The next time you’re watching reruns of Friends and get to the after-Thanksgiving episode, you might just have a little bit of sympathy for Ross, as it’s now clear that he seriously could have reacted more poorly to the missing moist-maker in his leftover sandwich. Add onto this knowledge that Joey doesn’t share food, and Friends may have just taught you a life-saving lesson – before taking a bite of someone’s sandwich without permission, think about how Joey, Ross, and Mr. Blackwell would react. Sandwiches are prized possessions, and shouldn’t be taken from their owner without intense consideration and acceptance of any negative consequences that accompany your bad behavior.

[via TIME]

Image via YouTube

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Steph W.

Steph W. is a new Master's degree graduate with an intern's salary and six-figure taste. She realizes her expectations far exceed reality, so she spends her days pinning away Loubs she pretends are in her physical closet instead of her virtual one. Her hobbies include attempting to trapping her boyfriend into marriage before he finds out how insane she is and pretending that Black Box wine tastes as good as the kind she could afford when she was gainfully employed. Send her tips for getting out of student debt at

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