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Big fan of reading your work, but this week I need some help. I’ve gotten into a habit recently that began innocently enough, but has begun to cause rifts in relationships with family and friends. When I drink, I start firing off Venmo payments and requests to everyone I know.
The amounts have increased over time. What started with overcharging someone an extra couple dollars for Uber rides has morphed into $1,000 requests every time we go to the bars. On the flip side, sometimes I’ll send my friend from home a couple grand, and the dirty knob won’t send it back to me.
I can’t seem to stop. Any tips on how to handle this is greatly appreciated.
Is this a real question? Your drunk habit is firing off four-digit Venmo payments? I’m aware of the weird fetish where internet strangers will pay attractive girls on the internet for their online attention, or to degrade them, or just to give them money for no real reason. This is different, though.
I can see how this might get slightly annoying at times, but mostly this is hilarious. I just imagine we’re at the bar and you come back to the table with bottom shelf tequila shots and send everyone in the squad a Venny for five grand. That’s just funny to me, so I can’t see how this would cause actual rifts in friendships.
But man, what a strange habit this is. If it’s really causing you serious problems, maybe talk to a counselor because I can’t make sense of it. For your first step, ask someone to hold your phone once your BAC begins to elevate.
To everyone besides the emailer: This is a joke, right?
Long time reader and Toucher. I figured I would keep my question short since you probably have the Bird fired up outside. I’ve been going out with this girl for about a month and she’s great and checks all the boxes. The only “issue” is that she is taller than me (I’m 5’8″) and she likes to wear heels all the time putting her at around 5’11” – 6′. Am I just being insecure or if I should just think of this as a fulltime calf workout since I’ll be tip-toeing in every photo?
Appreciate any advice for how I should move forward with this. Thanks for all you do King. Happy 4th.
You’re being insecure, but it’s an understandable insecurity. It’s natural to need to feel taller than your girlfriend. Guys want to be protectors and providers and all that alpha shit. It’s normal.
Surely you have enough other good shit about you that will lift your confidence and carry you over this height thing. She’s clearly into you, which is what really matters here. If there’s an issue with height, it’s only coming from your end. Stay mindful of that.
What are your thoughts on texting vs calling in dating? I usually will just text a girl to have a conversation or ask her out, especially if it’s an online dating deal. If I have met her out in actual society and know her well, then I’ll ask her out in person.
Anyway, a few times I’ve decided that I’m going to be a grown-ass man and actually call her, as opposed to hiding behind the keyboard on my iPhone and texting it in. As it turns out, close to 100% of the time I have to leave a voicemail, and I get a text in response.
So, what say you? Is a phone call a mature, adult way to ask a girl out, or is it an odd move in a world where everyone mostly texts?
Yeah, I’d avoid the phone call. I don’t know exactly when it happened, but calling people is officially out, especially when asking someone out on a date. It straight up weirds some people out. Asking her out in person or with a phone call is mature in a “how out of touch is this person?” kind of way. Unless I’m expecting a phone call, I’m likely to stare at my phone ringing and let it go to voicemail.
I let enough time pass so it seems I simply missed the call then I hit her with “Hey did you call me?” What I really mean by that is “Hey did you call me? Because I don’t take phone calls so please never do it again.”
Asking someone out via text is the move.
Recently on TB you guys talked about solo vacations and I have a similar dilemma. There’s a smallish, two day music festival next month about two hours from my town and there are several acts I want to see, but all of my friends either have work or simply don’t want to go (trash friends I know). Even my girl is blowing me off because she’s gonna be out of town that weekend. How weird of a move would it be for me to go solo to these concerts? Preciate the help.
I hate music festivals so I’m not the best one to answer this. That seems like the type of experience made much better when you have other people to share it with? Are you going to do molly and mosh all by yourself? I don’t know, man.
Solo trips are great, though. I’ve never actually done a trip solo, but I absolutely would. Not to a music festival, though. I think you should go for it, though, as long as your experience wouldn’t be too affected by not having others with you.
Hey Dillon Chevrolet
So I have a question that may or may not make me look kinda douchey, but well… here we go.
For context, there’s this girl I’m interested in. She’s really cool and funny. Here’s the thing though. Looking back at her instagram, it seems as though she’s gained weight over the past year. Not a lot mind you, but definitely noticeable.
Now, this wouldn’t be a problem for me at all usually. But I’ve gotten into fitness over the past year or so and eventually lost 50 lbs in about six months time to where I am now. Not bragging, just saying.
Anyway, I want to get her interested in sports and the gym because that’s what I love, but she doesn’t seem to care about it at all. Plus, with me continuing to lose weight and get in good shape, I dont know if that would cause friction down the road.
So, two questions for you: Am I just a giant shallow douche for wanting to get her into fitness? And, if you think I’m not an asshole, how do I get her to feel the same love for the gym that I feel without bringing up her losing weight?
“Anyway, I want to get her interested in sports and the gym because that’s what I love, but she doesn’t seem to care about it at all.”
This is where you lost me. Why does it matter what her interests are? And why must they align with yours? You can have an awesome relationship with someone who’s into different shit, man. Happens all the time. You seem controlling and a little narcissistic.
And yeah, you seem pretty douchey, too. You say you’re okay with how she currently looks, yet you foresee all these potential issues arising because she might not want to go to the gym with you or watch hours of football on Sunday. Be better.
Long time, first time blah blah blah. Anyways, I have a situation I want to get your take on. I’ve been going to this rock climbing group for about a year and about 4 months ago I met a guy in the group that I found attractive. Right off the bat he seemed to be hitting on me (bought me a drink at the bar the group goes to after the climb, lots of arm touching, etc). The problem: This has continued most weeks for the past 4 months. He seeks me out, we talk for a while, we flirt a ton, and then he never asks me out. We’ve also been messaging on Facebook outside the group a bit since I’ve been gone for vacation for a few weeks.
This guy always seems very into me and then doesn’t pull the trigger. He also doesn’t seem like the type to just flirt for flirting sake and doesn’t do this with any other girl in the group that I’ve seen. He’s also confirmed not gay. It’s of note that there is an age difference (he’s approximately 10 years older from what I can glean from LinkedIn) so that might be a contributing factor. Anyways, why isn’t this guy asking me out?? What can I do to get him to pull the trigger?
Why are you waiting for him to pull the trigger when you could be pulling the trigger yourself? There’s also a strong possibility he’s not single, which you would get to the bottom of if you, again, would ask him out yourself..
The more questions I receive, the better this series is going to be, so send me your Mailbag questions to [email protected] and please put “Mailbag” in the subject line.