Let’s Discuss This Kid Rock Loving Dude Named “The Wolf” Who Replied To Our Job Posting

======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ==== ======= ======= ====== ====== ====== ===== ==== ====== ====== ===== ====

Like any growing business trying to take things to the next level, we’re hiring. Turns out you can make a living working for a company that started out as a frat blog. Sure, it can get awkward explaining what your company does to your in-laws, but we have a good time here. We receive applications daily from qualified young professionals like yourself, but this one stuck out. Let’s consider the merits of a recent applicant who reached out to our Director of Mobile Development, and me for some reason, via an extraordinary email.

From: thewolfofwestpalmbeach@*******.com

Subject Line: ANDROID DEV: The Wolf

Strong start. Without even opening this email, I knew that we have a very serious candidate, and possibly one who had a very short lived NHL career as well as a rather impressive run as the Icelandic national team’s head coach in the nineties.

Hello Stephen,

First of all let me please ask for a just a quick “received” response to this email so I can be sure you got it. I’m sorry this is a little unorthodox but I often I find that my emails go to spam folders. If I don’t get a response in a week I’ll try to get this email to you some other way.

I like what’s happening here. Seriously. Applying for a job and getting zero response is a major moral defeat. I have no problem with requesting a little confirmation. I am curious as to how, in the event we didn’t respond, he’d “get this email to us in some other way.” Moving on.

I’d like to propose an unconventional solution to filling your Android App developer position. I believe my solution will be mutually beneficial and offer potential for, growth and/or flexibility in your technology department. The short of it is I would like to offer to be a part time remote developer working in the evenings and on weekends.

At this point, I’m all ears. Despite the fact that I have relatively little say (none) in who we bring on as an app developer, I respect that he’s letting us know from the get-go that he’s thinking outside the box.

Currently I work as an Aerospace Engineer for a small contract company in South Florida, and as awesome as Austin sounds, I really have no interest in relocating there. I also currently have no plans on leaving my decent paying job. What I do have an interest in is App developing.

Ok, so the guy doesn’t want to relocate for a position that’s in-house? Austin’s crowded, so I kind of understand where he’s coming from.

Currently I have no experience in developing Apps, but I do have a lot of experience in learning new programs/languages quickly.

Where The Wolf lacks in experience he more than makes up for by being a highly motivated self-starter. There’s something to be said for that. We’ve all applied to jobs that we were hilariously under-qualified for, because you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. -Wayne Gretzky, -Michael Scott

This is something you have to do often working for an engineering contractor, because each customer wants you to use different software to perform similar tasks. That and I’ve been learning programming since High school. I have no doubts that I’ll be able to adapt quickly and figure out any new software/languages. App design should be a breeze.

Confidence. I’m not competent to speak on how difficult mobile application development is, but The Wolf makes it sound like it’s as easy as learning to ride a bike. Bet The Wolf rides a motorcycle.

The main reasons I want to do this, is so that I can learn another skill while being productive and working with a cool group of guys. Hopefully this would open up the possibility of doing remote App developing full time independently, or possibly developing for Grandex full time if we both decide things are going well. All of this is in the hopes that one day I will have some freedom instead of staring out a window at an office for the rest of my life.Or at least be able to play golden tee during the day.

The Wolf acquires his target, and then he takes the shot. He just wants a little freedom from the monotony of his corporate grind. We are all The Wolf.

I thought we’d start of with a sort of probationary period to see if this would be a good match. This would involve Grandex getting 40 hours of programming/self training while only incurring the cost of setup.

Oh, okay then.

Below I’m going to summarize the key points of what I’m offering, and also what Ill be asking for in return:

Language Experience:
-PLT Scheme
-VBA
-Matlab

What I’m getting out of this:
-App developing experience
-Possible mentorship from Grandex developers (if available)
-compensation

Deliverables:
-Ledger containing time tracking details
-Files of all work performed during 40 hour period

I don’t know what most of this means. I like that the mentorship is only a possibility, though. Have to think it’d be way easier to mentor a guy who isn’t working on the other side of the country.

Compensation:
-I would build a computer and would be reimbursed by Grandex for all hardware ($750-$1200)
-Grandex would reimburse me for all software as well
-I would receive staff discount at Man Outfitters

Risk mitigation:
-Payment for hardware would not be required until delivery of ledger and Grandex files. (Payment for software would be required upfront)

Post Probation options:
-Remain working remotely part time on an hourly pay scale (immediate future)
-Transition to full time remote work (distant future)
-Relocation for full time position (distant future)

Hang on. We pay The Wolf to build a computer? I have a total of zero years experience in the mobile app dev field, but I have to think that’s not standard practice. I respect that. Not as much as I respect the request for a staff discount at Man Outfitters, though. The Wolf is trying to step his game up this summer, and there’s no better place to do that than at Man Outfitters.

Additional Advantages for Grandex:
– I’ve got a spare bedroom in West Palm that’s a short uber from downtown. Perfect vacation spot if I get along with any of you.
– I’m also a short uber ride from a tiki bar that Kid Rock frequents, and I’ve got a plug with a waitress who will let me know whenever he’s around.
– You’d be working with probably one of the only programmers in the world who enjoys the content from both TFM and PGP. I’ve met a lot of programmers, they don’t typically enjoy the frat lifestyle or understand the satire of the site.

This is where Wolf went wrong. You don’t close with tiki bar that Kid Rock frequents. Nah, Wolf. That needs to be your opening line. After reading that, the rest of the application will be moot. Had you had more structural integrity, we could be setting up an awkward Skype interview right now. Wait until deFries finds out about this. There’s a very real chance he’ll take you up on that extra room offer. Hell, he doesn’t even need a room. He’ll be more than happy to sleep in your sock drawer, if he even sleeps. Guy’s been on a tear lately.

These terms are negotiable but I believe they are more than reasonable. Please let me know if there is anything you would like me to clear up. I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully working with you.

-The Wolf.

P.S. I’ve CC’d David Ruff on this, I know how much he loves kid rock and I’m hoping he can really close this deal for me.

Wolf- I think you’ve confused me with deFries, our noted Kid Rock connoisseur. Did I see The Bullgod at the now closed down Bronco Bowl back in the late-nineties when he opened for Limp Bizkit? Yes, of course I did. But Will is the Kid Rock guy, man.

This particular position may not be the best fit for you, but I think you’re going places. You play by your own rules, Wolf, and I respect you for that..

Image via Shutterstock

47

Respond

Email this to a friend

Hey, I saw this on Post Grad Problems. Check it out.

Dave

Lawyer. Writer. Dude doing business. I'm the meatloaf guy from tv.

• @dcarterruff
• @dcruff
• dcarterruff
• david@grandex.co