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“It’s too bad Mason* has an almost girlfriend” my drunk friend said to me last night.
“Do you just like everyone?” I bluntly asked, refusing to even humor the idea of her and Mason together.
You see, earlier this week, she found me to tell me about a new crush that she had, claiming that it had been “forever” since she’d crushed on someone. (Which is a lie, but that disaster is for a whole different post.) Tuesday guy has a girlfriend. He also isn’t that objectively attractive, and she has been around him for over two years now without a hint of affection for him.
It’s the Law School Goggles.
I remember my first day of 1L orientation very vividly. By the grace of God, I met my law best friend that morning, so we sat together while pretending to listen to different talks that—to this day—I found incredibly useless. We scanned the lecture hall, looking, hoping, praying for cute law school boys to catch our eyes. Besides one Chase Crawford-esque pretty boy who is way above our pay grades, we were thoroughly disappointed.
Over time, some of the boys grew on us. (I will forever stand by the fact that personality can make guys cuter.) But, like the small liberal arts college I went to, you’re forced to adjust your type to fit around what you’re given. Much like Beer Goggles, 7s become 10s, 5s become 8s, etc., and you become just bored enough to try to convince yourself that this person, who has been thoroughly unimpressive thus far, is the Austin Ames to your Sam Montgomery.
It’s especially worse my 3L year. We were only two weeks in before there were so many random matchups throughout the class, as if we haven’t been around one another for two damn years already. All of a sudden, people are convincing themselves that they have a crush on these people whom they have been around consistently without a hint of attraction.
I myself have been a victim of Law School Goggles. I’m usually content with my nonexistent love life, but sometimes I’ll get so bored that I start looking at a strictly platonic friend a little differently for no other reason than just to have someone to flirt with. Law school goggles don’t actually provide you with genuine feelings. They sometimes give you the drunken make-out, though, which can make you snap back into reality and place those people back into the friend zone.
It’s only October 2, so I’m so excited to see how the law school goggles influence the dynamic of my class, and I hope to have stories to make you all feel better about your own lives. .
*Names changed to protect the innocent.