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Dear readers, we have a lot of fun here. I think we can all agree that this is the finest website on earth when it comes to hilarious content about drinking, dating, bodily functions, and goofing off at work. But what if responsibilities didn’t just end at the end of the work day?
Now everyone just calm the fuck down. Sit back down, don’t close this window, hear me out.
Basically everyone’s lives in their early post grad station revolve around getting lifted and getting laid, moving from one reason to celebrate to the next. This type of lifestyle carries with it a measure of risk, and if you do something fun like have sex without birth control or something stupid like get married and then have sex without birth control, someone’s gonna get pregnant.
I’m sure many of you have been curious about what happens next. What is this “Dad Life” all about, you may wonder. Well if that’s the case then boy howdy do I have a podcast for you. Debuting today on Grandex Labs, I present The Dadgum Podcast. A podcast about dadhood from two dudes just trying to figure it out.
Your hosts will be your two favorite PGP writers not named Nick Arcadia or Call Me Victoria. You’ll be getting the Post Grad Single Dad himself, Mr. Kyle Bandujo, with yours truly as his trusty sidekick. Our insights, directly into your ears, which are holes leading to your brain. This is going to be the aural equivalent of freebasing some primo dad shit.
You might be thinking, “well why the hell am I going to listen to these esteemed Internet writers on matters such as these?” Well I’ll tell you why. If you haven’t picked up on this shit by now, we’re both dads. You might then be thinking, “jeez, who’s desperate enough to have sex with Icehouse?” To which I say, your mom. That’s who.
Moving on! We’ve got a great first episode for you, with a whole lot of fun stuff on deck as well. We’re gonna talk about the new and interesting ways our kids have terrorized us this week, give a few celebrity dads some shoutouts, answer some reader questions about poop, and rumors have it that a one Dave Ruff might drop by to talk royal baby news. Are the rumors true? Well you’ll just have to subscribe and find out. We also have a great game that you can play at home called “Drunk or a Kid.” It’s fantastic.
So half of you I’ve probably sold by now, but the other half are probably thinking, “this is lame, I just want to get blasted and watch cartoons.” Well do I have a surprise for you! With the low cost of listening to our initial podcast, you’ll be provided with the official rules to the Paw Patrol drinking game. It’s guaranteed to make you drunk and Canadian.
Moving forward, here’s an array of topics that we’ll be giving a dad’s perspective on in no particular order:
- Bounce Houses vs. Trampolines
- The majesty and wonder of garbage trucks
- Tommy Lee Jones
- breastfeeding teaching your kid to pee outside
- The appropriate age to force your kid to watch Old Yeller
- Dante Aligheri’s place in Dolce Stil Novo (if there’s time)
It’s gonna be great. We’re gonna talk about some dad stuff, we’re gonna have some laughs, and hopefully we’ll all learn something as well. Subscribe to Grandex Labs wherever you get your podcasts, give us a listen, and if we earned it, a five star review. Hit us up for any questions on our Twitter accounts, or at email@example.com.