I would have to say that “A**holeology” is one of the funniest and most entertaining books I have ever read. The book is exactly what it sounds like, a humorous guide on how to live a more successful and fulfilling life as an asshole, or “[t]he science behind getting your way – and getting away with it.” Although the book can be found in the comedy section of your local soon-to-be-closing Barnes & Noble, it is possibly the only book to have unintentionally but successfully bridged the gap between comedy and self-help. This piece of work was carefully crafted by three masterminds who knew what they were talking about, and I got to interview one of the authors, Mr. Illuminati.

Chris Illuminati (yes, that is his real last name) is co-author of the book “A**holeology,” author of “A**holeology The Cheat Sheet,” and runs the daddy blog “Message With A Bottle.” In addition, he has recently taken up stand-up comedy as a means to escape diaper duty, and has written articles for AskMen, Cosmo, Details Magazine, Maxim, and Penthouse Magazine.

As a fan of his book, I was more than thrilled to interview Chris about his work with “A**holeology,” and his real life experiences as an asshole turned father. I also got to ask Chris about my second favorite piece of his work, “Message With A Bottle.” The blog features a few hysterical stories and not enough pictures of the laughable post-it notes he leaves around the house for the sake of his sanity and for his wife, who is commonly referred to as Permanent Roommate.

If that’s not enough to get you hooked on Chris’ work, keep reading.

Q: How did the idea for the book “A**holeology” come about? Did you and the other authors have a specific inspiration or reason for writing the book?

CI: “Actually it started from the two other guys (Steven B. Green and Dennis Lavalle). They kind of started the book process with Adams Media who put out the book and then they brought me along later on because they thought it needed a different kind of approach. So basically they wrote the first draft and I went through and did the second draft and then we kind of all got together and that was the third draft, so it was a real process. I didn’t even know them before the book started.”

Q: Wow, so how did they find out about you in order to get your input for the book?

CI: “You know, they found my writing for AskMen (which I still write for), and with AskMen at the time I was always kind of taking the opposite approach to most topics; I was kind of always taking the asshole approach to it. So Adams found my writing and they were like ‘okay, this might be the guy to help us be the kind of jerk about things that this book needs to be,’ so they brought me on board. At the time if they did an article like the arguments for yoga, I would do the arguments against yoga. And I would take the negative look at everything.”

Q: Did y’all write “A**holeology” for the loser type of individual to take very seriously, or was it just a joke?

CI: “I think it was tongue in cheek, but I have had some people write me and say, I think this book should be in the self-help section and not in the comedy section of the bookstore, because it did help. We wrote it tongue in cheek but there are some things people can learn from it. When I was writing it I found myself in my real life being a little bit more assertive and aggressive because of it. Almost like when an actor gets into a role. It’s hard when you sit at home and write for two hours about being an asshole and then you go out in real life and act the way you were just writing five minutes ago. It’s my hope that everyone will get something out of it; some people will laugh and some people will get actual help.”

Q: So what was your favorite part of contributing to the book? I mean obviously it’s fun to joke around and play devil’s advocate, but was there one particular thing that was your favorite about contributing to the book?

CI: “I think one of the things I really enjoyed was that I got to talk about some of the past assholes of my life without actually naming them, and to kind of bring some of the things they do to life, and even some of the past douchebags of my life. So I was able to mention those stories and put them in print. One example that I really thought about a lot, and one of the ideas that I had for the first book had to do with an ATM receipt.

“What you do is go to an ATM and find a receipt that has the most cash in the account, and you pocket it and you bring it with you to the bar or wherever you’re going that night, and then use it to write your phone number on for a girl. And the reason I had this idea was because I knew someone who did that. They were at an ATM and they happened to find an ATM receipt that had like $32,000 in a checking account, so they took it and put it in their pocket and that night they used it to write down their phone number, and the girl called them the next day. Not saying every girl would do that, but it probably didn’t hurt. So I knew that story with the ATM receipt and I got to use that. My favorite part was actually getting to use real life examples.”

Q: Do you think that any of the previous assholes or douchebags that you knew read this book and realized that particular piece of the book was about them?

CI: “You do things like that, and when it gets printed, part of you is pleased that it made it to print, but part of you is also pleased that it wasn’t your real name. So if they read it they were probably like, ‘oh that’s me,’ but they were maybe glad that it wasn’t mentioned that it was them. But some of them come back and completely own up to it, so you really never know.”

Q: So beside the ATM receipt example, how much of what you contributed was from real-life experience? I know sometimes it’s easier to say what people would want to hear, or what they would find funny rather than real instances. Was it 100 percent real life experience?

CI: “I would say like maybe 60 percent is real life, and the rest are like things I would want to do, or that I think would be the most asshole thing to do in that moment. So I would say probably 60/40.”

Q: Since writing the first book and becoming a father, what are some of the asshole things you’ve learned now as a father that maybe you’ve done to get your way or that your son has done to get his way that you’ve seen?

CI: “Kids are able to not feel guilt when it comes to manipulation, and they’re much better at it. It’s kind of like you have to be an asshole in a whole different way. When you’re doing it to kids you’re doing it on purpose for their own good, you have to put your foot down. I almost wish my son was old enough at the time that I wrote the first book, because there are a lot of moves that kids pull of that if you can do it as an adult would be fantastic. Like my kid, I’ll just say ‘no’ to him and he’ll turn around and do it again. I kind of wish that as an adult I could just do that, like when someone tells you no, just turn around and just do it right in their face. So maybe he would have been more inspiring if he was around at the time.”

Q: If there is one really good piece of advice you could give to a postgrad that you’ve gleaned from writing “A**holeology,” working as a freelance writer, becoming a new dad, and starting stand-up comedy, what would that be?

CI: “Get ready for rejection. Like, I’ve heard ‘no’ one too many times, in fact three or four times just today, but that’s what it is. And it’s going to be hard with that, but you have to have a very thick skin with that stuff.

“When I’m having a really crappy day with my work I like to think of it like golf. I just took up golf a couple years ago, and it’s a four and a half hour game. For most of the four and a half hours you are ridiculously terrible and bitter and angry at yourself until you have that really great shot and it makes you keep going. Sometimes it’s rough for hours and hours but then you have one good idea and remember why you do this. You have to stick through the crap to get to the good part.

As a postgrad no matter what job it is, you’re going to hear ‘no’ one thousand times before you hear yes, but the one yes makes it all worth it.”

If you haven’t already purchased the book “A**holeology,” I feel bad for you. Read it or regret it.