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This week hurt, friends. And not just because The Bachelorette is directly responsible for forcing me to watch Trump v. Kim and thus consume more politics on Monday night than I have the last two years combined. No, it hurt because we lost maybe my favorite contestant on the show, Clay Harbor.
Why was he my favorite? Well, sure, he was maybe the sweetest guy ever who also happens to be built like an NFL tight end. But it’s way deeper than that: Clay appeared in three games for the Super Bowl winning 2016-2017 New England Patriots and thus has a Patriots Super Bowl ring. Yes, it’s that simple to win my heart. (Feed me pizza, touch my butt, and give me Patriots Super Bowl rings).
Clay’s departure is absolutely tragic. There he was, dominating on the football field against mortal humans like Rob Gronkowski dominating against the NY Jets, and a freak arm injury has him going under the knife. Maybe the weirdest off-season NFL injury in a long while, right up there with Vernon Littlefield’s paintball injury (and yes, I just made a Ballers reference). With rose in hand, Clay forfeits the rose, opting instead to leave the show to get wrist surgery to try and salvage the scraps of his NFL career. Which, I got to say, is a move that’s not going to pan out. Clay is 30. He spent all of last season on IR. I’m not sure there’s a team desperate enough at tight end depth to go after Clay, especially post wrist surgery. We shall see.
Anyway, you’d have to think Clay is the front-runner right now to be the next Bachelor. So, in honor of the NFL and their Sunday night theme song, we’ll plug in some Carrie Underwood. And as always, don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
Clay, 30, football player from Chicago, Illinois
It’s crazy to me how a guy so sweet and sensitive like Clay survived in the NFL for 98 games across seven seasons. But then you see him with his shirt off and you’re like, “oh.”
RIP. .
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
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