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I’m at a loss for words. Arie has decided, for reasons unknown, to part ways with Jaqueline, 26, Sienne, 27, and Bekah, 22. He had bananas chemistry with all of them. Jacqueline was great. Bekah? The sparks were flying like Taylor Swift every time Bekah and Arie locked lips. Sienne? She’s literally #perfect. But, Arie is a man of priorities, and somehow Lauren the Mute and Kendall the taxidermist made it to hometowns.
This week hurt. There are no two ways around it. Tears for days. Seems like Rascal Flatts might be the best soundtrack for this one. Don’t ask me why. But every time poor little Bekah broke down crying, “What Hurts the Most” seemed pertinent to blast through the living room Surround Sound.
So, let The Grim Creeper show you some smokestack Instagrams. Throw them a follow in their dark days. And, as always, don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
Jacqueline, 26, research coordinator from Morgantown, West Virginia
Jacqueline, my New York City neighbor by way of West Virginia, was NOT on anyone’s radar at the beginning of the season. But, she came on strong. We had her pegged as a power player quickly emerging as a top contender. She had crazy chemistry with Arie. Their make-out sessions were hot. Deadass. But she’s got dreams of pursuing a PhD and Arie’s GED ass would be too insecure with a girl pursuing a doctorate and barely making enough money to afford canned tuna and ramen for six years.
Hey Jaqueline, if you want to forget about Arie, let’s dance our faces off together at Session 73. What say you?
Bekah, 22 (LOL), nanny from Fresno, California
If hating on Krystal was pulling our country together, then opinions on Bekah were tearing us apart. Everybody is either a true Bekah h8er or they love her. Me? I loved her. Thought she was spunky and didn’t give two shits, marched to her own drum, and never wore a bra #freethenipple. A lot (read: all) my female friends who watch the show and chat with me about it hated her. Despised her! Not sure why. Maybe because of her tight bod, Disney Princess eyes, and her ability to somehow pull off that haircut. Either way, her Instagram is straight fire.
A toast to you, Bekah, and your facial expressions that are pure gold Jerry gold.
The Grim Creeper awaits, Bekah pic.twitter.com/6jr6wGd11d
— Boston Max (@BostonMaxG) February 13, 2018
Gonna frame this look #TheBachelor pic.twitter.com/98xm3Xjc10
— Boston Max (@BostonMaxG) February 13, 2018
Sienne, 27, commercial real estate manager from Long Beach, California
Sienne for President. I mean… Bachelorette. Seriously this girl is perfect. I honestly have no fucking idea how someone so perfect ends up on this cesspool of a television show. Yale-educated. World class smile. Genuinely seems nice. Oh yeah, and a rockin’ bod to boot.
Sienne, I’m heading out to Los Angeles for work in a few weeks. Let’s grab a drink. Then play a little game called “just married” where we get married and live happily ever after. K? Cool.
RIP. .
Respond
Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Eh, I’d choose Tia over Bekah too. But you’re from Boston so I can understand you not understanding a girl from the south
I didn’t know who Jaqueline was until like last week and I found her highly annoying. Won’t miss her at all on my TV screen. Def want to be BFFs with Bekah though.