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I hate bringing you this news. I really do. But we lost a few more fallen beauties this week. And all cards on the table, this week hit me harder than most. We’re starting to form connections with these girls, and losing them stings. This week we lost Brittany and Caroline. And no offense to Brittany, but Caroline eliminated this early is an absolute travesty. She’s a rocket ship. A scud missile. She’s both the Independence and the Freedom blistering around the moon at 11 Gs a la Armageddon.
I don’t know what the hell Arie is looking for, but Caroline is literally dream woman material. Arie’s a looney tune. But, The Kissing Bandit knows what he wants, and he’s struck again. So this goes out to my home girl Caroline (Go Patriots), and Brittany. We will remember you. It’s going to hurt for a while, but we shall overcome. So, let’s plug in some Johnny Cash covering Nine Inch Nails, try not to jump off a bridge, and, as always, don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.
Also, sidebar, I didn’t include Maquel in the obituaries because she’s technically still in the mix and might have a chance to come back? If she doesn’t come back next week, we’ll call the time of death.
Caroline, 26, realtor from Holliston, Massachusetts
Caroline is my girl. Boston’s Bachelor representation. Miss Massachusetts Teen USA 2008, Miss Massachusetts 2014. Probably a huge Tom Brady fan. Did we get to know Caroline all that well this season? No, not particularly. But this week, she was accused of making faces at Krystal in the hot tub, she opening mocked her in her confessional-style interview, and honestly, I think we’re all so sick of Krystal at this point that we’re all hundo p on Caroline’s team here.
And then Krystal has the audacity to pull Caroline (and Tia) aside and call them out? Fuck that. And quick Krystal rant: this is a direct quote from the episode: “A lot of girls here don’t operate at my level. I feel like it’s hard for me to really, like, shine while trying not to be intimidating to the girls I spend the majority of time with, because I come across as flawless.” She’s the worst, and I can’t help but think we lost Caroline this week all because Krystal got so deep in Arie’s head about the whole hot tub mocking incident. Anyway, enjoy these photos of Caroline. I hate to be The Grim Creeper, but somebody has to show her beauty off to the world.
Brittany, 30, tech recruiter from Columbia, South Carolina
Down goes another 30-year-old. Arie has already eliminated six of seven of the 30 year-olds, and honestly, it’s completely savage from Arie. But, I respect it.
I don’t have too much to say about Brittany; we’re still in that awkward stage of the show where the ones getting eliminated just fell victim to the lack of screen time. So, throw her a pity follow. Let’s get Brittany to 10K followers today and hopefully jump start her influencer career. I will say, finding pictures of Brittany from her Instagram that have just her in them was tough which tells me that she’s got a crazy amount of friends. And from her Insta, it looks like she might live in Austin, so maybe the TB boys can get her on the poddy.
RIP. .
Image via ABC / YouTube
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Boston Max
Spending my retirement fund at Trader Joe's and trying to remember to check my mailbox semi-regularly
@BostonMaxG
@boston_maxg
Caroline is my “hate to see her go but love to watch her leave chick of the week”
I just got paid 14k bucks working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over 12k bucks her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. Follow this… www.Jobzon3.com