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A lot has been made of people who are inconsiderate fliers. Hell, there’s a well-regarded Instagram account that publicly shames such people.
As the self appointed travel expert in these parts, I’m here to dispel these rumors. Because I’m one of those people. If a flight is longer than two hours, you can bet your Economy flying ass I’m letting my dogs out to run around the yard.
No, I don’t place them up on the wall if I’m sitting first row or jut them between armrests to poke into other people’s personal space. I’m not an animal. I do however remove them from my shoes and place them on the ground. And yeah, if I’m wearing socks I walk around the cabin in my socks. Fucking sue me.
Do you know why I remove my shoes on a plane? Swelling. If you spend extended periods of time in the seated position at high altitudes, blood pools in your leg veins and causes your feet and calves to swell. This can lead to more serious issues like blood clots or deep vein thrombosis.
Here is my three-pronged strategy for taking my shoes off on a plane:
1. Slip-on shoes.
Slip on shoes allow you to quickly slide your feet in and out while in your seat without drawing too much attention. They’re more comfortable and — believe it or not — there are some stylish options out there: Allbirds, Flyknits, Vionics etc. I also keep my feet planted either firmly on the ground or on top of my shoes. This means no crossing my legs or stretching them out into the aisle, this isn’t my living room couch. I personally don’t have to remove my shoes while going through security but slip-on shoes can help other people (lesser people) here too.
2. Compression socks.
It may seem counterintuitive but a quality pair of compression socks help promote blood circulation in your legs. They also reduce inflammation/swelling and when removed after a long flight make your legs feel rested and ready to go. I tried them for the first time on a flight from Singapore to San Francisco, one of the longest flights in the world (16 hours), and haven’t flown without them since. I also see no issue in walking around the cabin wearing my compression socks either. And that’s because…
3. I’m hygienic.
Seriously, check the records. If you’re seated next to me on a flight, chances are extremely high that I just got out of the shower and you could eat your sausage and egg biscuit off my soles.
I’ve never had any major issues when taking off my shoes on a flight. I’m usually in my compression socks and in the rare instances my feet are bare I keep them under the chair in front of me. In the few instances, I’ve received sideways looks from someone I insist that they enter my personal space to smell my hair. After they’ve sampled my scent and are sitting dazed, waving in a semicircle like somebody about to be knocked out in Street Fighter, I offer to buy them a bag of Bugles.
Which I serve off my toes. .
Respond
JR Hickey
Stand up comedian and writer from Chicago who now resides on the West Coast. JR can be seen performing at Cobbs Comedy Club in San Francisco and Zanies Comedy Clubs in Chicago. His work has been published in the Chicago Tribune and recently he was a part of SF Sketchfest 2015. JR's also the host of the PGP dating podcast Don't Take It From Us. He loves you very, very much.
@JRwilldoit
@JRwilldoit
Socks= ok. Bare feet= should be put on the no fly list.
Clean socks though. You’d think that’s a given but I’ve sat next to otherwise.
I just got paid 9000 bucks working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over 11k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. Start here now…. www.2Jobsday.com
This is good, JR, and your reasoning makes sense .. but it’s sill trash AND here’s why. When you do this you’re showing the less hygienic people that it’s ok and it’s not. You’re starting a dangerous chain of events and next think you know the whole plane smells like feet.
a real Pandora’s Sock, if you will
Bravo
As someone on Team Exit Row, if I see bare feet on any human over 10 years old… I’m pulling that exit lever, we’ve all overstayed our welcome in the air.
I have zero respect, and actually a lot of hatred, for folks that take shoes off in public. It’s a trash move. Stay home if you can’t keep yourself clothed properly for a few hours.
My guy is there anything u don’t comment on
I’ll fucking kill you….with typed words over the internet. Oh, and my dad could beat up your dad lol
Nived the legend, what’s good fam?
Are you still fratting hard in the post grad world?
And you care….for what reason?
Compression socks + slippers on my flight to Europe. No swelling and I didn’t feel disgusting walking around the plane. Can’t say much about how fashionable I looked.
There’s no such thing as fashion when it comes to travel. That’s for the CEOs.
I always thought walking around bare foot (or socked) was weird, not because the person doing it wasn’t clean (although that too) but the fact that the floor is probably filthy. Don’t even get me started on the psychos who go into the bathroom barefoot/socked…
I’m sorry, JR, you can’t be saved.
I know
Oh hell no. You should only be allowed to fly Spirit and Frontier from now on
Shoes off in your seat? Solid move unless you have serious stank, then keep those dogs chained. In the lav, though…. no goddamn way.
My roommate is a flight attendant…. trust me you do not want to take your shoes off.