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Everyone knows the saying “give someone an inch and they’ll take a mile.” That saying very much applies to colleges in today’s day and age, except it’s more along the lines of you’ve given them a mile and they are still asking for inches. Even after you’ve graduated and paid paid tens of thousands in tuition every year, these bastards still have the gall to reach out to you every so often asking for donations.
A quick Google search has yielded the following figures for the average tuition cost for the 2016-2017 school year:
Private Schools: $33,480/yr
State School (Out-of-State resident): $24,930
State School (In-State resident): $9,650/yr
Just in tuition alone, not covering loans you may take out to cover the cost of living, you could be looking at close to $40k worth of debt for your education, on average. My alma mater is very much so on the expensive side when comparing it to the national average, and it’s a fucking state school. I’m not saying the quality of education was bad, but I’m not saying it was worth as much as they charge for it either. This, coupled with the fact that they let just about any knucklehead through admissions just to milk them for all they are worth, leads me to believe these greedy bastards should be absolutely rolling in it.
Apparently, the idiots running the place can’t survive off the exorbitant tuition rates they charge the students because every couple of months or so I’ll get something in the mail or my inbox with a message similar to the following:
Our fiscal year ends on June 30, 2017. Our records show that you have not yet given to our
president’s retirement fundus in this fiscal year… but there’s still time to participate!
Participate in what exactly? Enabling poor budgeting habits and crowdsourcing new equipment for the football and hockey teams while the labs I spent hours in, STUDYING and LEARNING, have equipment that outdates me by a decade? If I was going to donate money to the school, I’d cut out the middleman and put it directly in the pockets of the administrators who, despite a “financial crisis” in the school system, are getting $40,000 raises this year. I’m all set, thanks.
On top of mismanaging what is already given to them, they have the audacity to ask ME? I graduated 4 years ago. I’m still paying off student debt that was accrued during my time at the establishment. Why on God’s green earth would I even entertain the thought of giving them more of my money? The jobs I’ve gotten were a result of connections that I made and efforts I took to explore opportunities out there. A degree is a degree, and I could have walked across the stage and gotten my piece of paper at thousands of other schools. The stock they take of themselves is astonishingly bloated.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my time at the school. I also enjoy going back to see people for homecoming to relive the glory days through drunken tales over a grilled burger and cheap beer. But if I am going to donate my hard-earned money to something, it will be to a worthier cause. It will be to something that helps support families impacted by ALS or an organization that grants wishes to children affected by life-threatening medical conditions.
To the bold son of a bitch trying to get money on behalf of the school: Don’t think for a second that reaching out to me will result in a sudden influx of funds. There is only so much to go around and you are last the list..
Respond
@207Cush
Donate a penny each time, as it costs them a quarter to process your donation. Eventually, they’ll just stop asking you.
You evil genius
Most institutions and organizations have minimum credit card gift amounts.
Didn’t realize John Mulaney wrote for PGP
“I paid $120,000 to get a degree in a language I already speak”
*waits for Will to shit on Mulaney
Good luck getting a building named after you
I don’t know what I did (or didn’t do), but in the six years it’s been since I graduated, I haven’t gotten a single call asking for donations. It’s been glorious.
I was wondering the same thing, then realized, they probably have my parents number registered since that was still my permanent address as an undergrad.
Probably why they don’t answer their landline anymore..
They called me while I was staging for graduation
It’s prob all going to your parent’s address.
I changed my phone number after graduating
I once told the kid on the phone asking me for donations that he made more as a student employee than I was currently making with a 4 year science degree – he actually felt pity on me and hung up. Legit didn’t get a call back for half a year
NEWSFLASH: It never ends no matter how many time you ask them to stop
It should. You have a few options. You can be taken off calling and direct mail lists, or you can be removed from the pool altogether. You probably don’t want to be removed from the pool altogether, because then you wouldn’t receive your alumni magazine, Homecoming invitations, whatever. If a student calls you, you can ask to be removed from the solicitation list but reiterate that you’d like to receive other school communications. You can also call the Alumni Relations Office and ask, if you’re not receiving student calls.
This move doesn’t work if you want to be involved in your local alumni association chapter though, at least not for mine. It’s an all-or-nothing opt out.
My Alma Mater (semi private local business school) kept calling me for donations post-undergrad, until I finally picked up the phone and called them morons for asking me for donations when I am enrolled in their Masters program…
That wasn’t your University. It was Trumps fund raisers. Separate division.
… Trump wasn’t a political thing in 2013 you troll, probably Russian too…
Weak clap back. I was trying to suggest you went to Trump U. Throwing it low.
I’m not giving then a penny until my student loans are paid.
Saaaame goes for solicitations from my sorority. I gave you a ton of money in college, what more do you want from me??
I’d give to my chapter (not Nationals, fuck them) 100 times out of 100 before I’d give back to the school.
I’d give to my chapter just to spite my school, cus I know they’ll find a way to spend that money causing a hassle for administration
I regularly get solicited by my undergrad University, my college at that University, my national fraternity, chapter, sports team at the University, law school, and law review. Not happening, guys.