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I hear a faint beeping noise coming from my kitchen as I finish off trace amounts of lukewarm coffee from a mug commemorating Earth Day in 2004. It’s the dishwasher telling me that cups, stemware, utensils, and tupperware are finally ready to be transferred to cupboards above microwave, kitchen sink, and refrigerator.
Doing the dishes is a task as menial as any other. Laundry, taking out trash, sweeping, dusting, and doing the dishes – these are all tasks that fall under the almighty umbrella of “Saturday morning chores.”
Everything in the dishwasher is completely dry and ready to be moved, save for the tupperware tops which, for whatever reason, refuse to dry completely like their neighbors of the plate, bowl, fork, cup, and spoon variety.
In my time as a transient renter, I’ve saved a lot of shit that probably should never have been saved.
Lamps that I have left in boxes for months on end. Really ugly plastic cups that I, for whatever reason, have saved from dive bars and restaurants all over the country. And most importantly, tupperware.
I currently have in my possession no less than one hundred pieces of tupperware sitting in my kitchen. I know that number sounds outrageous to some, but I can assure you that it’s true.
It might even be closer to two hundred. And the sad part is I probably have three or four tupperware bowls that see heavy rotation. The rest sit to collect dust because I can’t find their lids.
I have a problem, and that problem is tupperware hoarding. I’ve lived with people from a lot of different backgrounds and varying degrees of capability. In the years that I’ve been a renter, I’ve noticed one thing, though: on move in day, everyone is bringing in their own tupperware.
For whatever reason, I am always the one who ends up with most of these plastic storage containers when we part ways for new apartments. This, of course, has allowed me to collect a very impressive array of containers for veggies, fruits, proteins, carbs, healthy fats, and seeds and dressings.
I have more tupperware in my possession than most middle aged women with three kids in elementary school do.
Take a peek into any of my kitchen cupboards and you’ll find shelves full of plastic tupperware which are missing their matching tops and are doomed to lay dormant for, well, as long as I’m living in the apartment which I call home.
Keeping track of a tupperware bowl and its matching, moisture resistant lid is like asking someone to finish a chapstick to its completion. It’s damn near impossible, and anyone who says they can keep track of lids for their tupperware is a goddamn liar.
A lid and a tupperware container are about as easy to keep track of as a child in a store full of candy. It’s just not happening.
And I know what you’re thinking right now. If you can’t find the lids for most of your tupperware, why don’t you just throw it out?
That answer is beyond me. I don’t know why. I think in the back of my mind I believe that there’s some magical drawer or closet space I just haven’t inspected in a while which will inevitably hold all of my missing tupperware lids and those really tiny Rubbermaid bowls which we all know are for ranch dressing or hot sauce.
Laziness is certainly a factor. Asking me, a 26-year-old man, to throw out a tupperware bowl with no lid is just way too much work. But I also think it’s the dad in me. The guy who wants to pinch pennies. The father in me says “No, way. Keep that tupperware bowl without a lid and no real useful purpose. You never know.”
And you never do know. Maybe I’ll use that useless Sterilite protein bowl with no top to serve a salad to house guests. What I do know is this – I’ve got no cupboard space with all of this tupperware and I don’t see it changing anytime soon. This is the life I’ve chosen to live, and it’s probably not going to change..
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Respond
jduda@grandex.co
You know you’ve made a house a home when you have an entire cabinet full of bowls and lids but none seem to match
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The Tupperware and Dryer Gods need to pool their resources so I can have a matching pair of work socks and a container for my leftover pizza.
I’m bad about leaving stuff in Tupperware in the fridge until it goes bad, and then I don’t want to deal with cleaning it so I just throw the whole Tupperware out.
thought I was the only one
I’m awful with Tupperware, but dammit do I have some ChapStick skills. I’d wager I use 8/10 of them to completion. One of my few useful tendencies.
I want to call bullshit but this is too strange for me to think you’d lie about it.
Did you know some people even buy Tupperware that doesn’t come with some kind of deli meat?
Everyone needs to let go of metaphysical illusions like food and Tupperware. Just enjoy shit and then let things take their course because you’re 100% not in control of your own life anyway lol
Nothing is possible.
Possibility is nothing
Someone read their Nietzsche
Nah probably rewatching Rick and Morty getting ready for season 3
Phasing out your Tupperware with glass pyrex 4 cup bowls: PGPM. No staining, and no leeching plastic into your food. I didn’t know what to ask my parents for xmas one year and now I cant go back.
I’m the Tupperware hoarder who will let it stack up on my shelf in my office, and then 2 weeks later, bring an avalanche home like a psycho.
That’s gross, that has to smell
I wash them out at work… I just hate bringing them home.
Still wouldn’t want to swing by your desk and see that.
Guy in my office has a large bag of used tupperware containers (~15 of them) that have been under his desk since 2016. If someone opened them up it’d probably release the next plague
Sup? Tupperware party and chill?
Don Titos and chill?
Pretty much all my dishes are tupperware or rubbermaid. Cereal bowl? Using that Rubbermaid bowl. Plate to heat up some tacos from the day before? Use the lid off one of the bigger tupperware containers and you have the confidence in knowing its 100% microwave safe.
Also low-key life hack for heating up prior day’s tacos:
1)Tear a piece of paper towels from the roll that will cover your tacos all the way around
2)Soak the towel in some water and ring out the excess water so the paper towel is damp
3)Put the paper towel down and set the tacos on top of it then cover with the remaining part of the towel
4) Nuke em in the microwave, i usually do anywhere from 90secs to 2 minutes depending on the size and amount of tacos.
5) Enjoy some second day tacos and XX
“You never know.” This. Even though really, deep down we do know that we’ll probably never use it and it will never come in handy but we still keep it.