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There’s been a hell of a lot of talk on this website and quite frankly the internet abroad regarding fall outfits and what you should be wearing as the leaves change and the days become shorter.
Will’s “My Fall Aesthetic” is appointment reading week in and week out, and I know that he has just about every suggestion he’s made in those columns readily available in his closet, waiting anxiously for a day in central Texas that drops below 80 degrees.
I hate to say this, but Will and anyone else laying their head down in Texas or more generally the deep south has a little bit of waiting to do before the crewnecks come out of storage. “Y’all” have a few more months of hot weather before you’ll be able to join the seasonally depressed Midwesterners and East coasters in busting out a Patagonia Snap-T Pullover or a chunky knit sweater from LL Bean.
I lived through a “fall” in Austin, Texas last year and I wore shorts and a t-shirt pretty much all the way through it. Hell, even in December I was still rocking shorts two or three days a week. It wasn’t like I needed pants, but by that time I was honestly just fed up with wearing shorts all of the time. I missed the autumn wind.
In short, fall doesn’t really exist in the south until December, January, or February and even then it’s not really fall. Those are all winter months to me, therefore they are winter. And that’s okay. I’m not making fun of you guys down South for not really being able to participate in fall weather outfits.
I loved living in Austin. Not having to slog my way through the winter months was amazing. So what am I getting at with this column? Let me give you a little more background.
I scrolled through the list of movies available on HBO Now last night expecting to find nothing but as I approached the end of the alphabetized movie section I finally found something worth watching: Tin Cup starring Kevin Costner and the incorrigible Rene Russo.
As I watched Roy McAvoy hem and haw his way through the U.S. Open and stubbornly go for the green on 18 four days in a row, a light turned on in my head. I had found the solution. The perfect answer to the dilemma that I’m sure many people living south of the Mason-Dixon think about on the regular. How can you get into the fall spirit without sweating your ass off? The answer lies in Tin Cup and with our lovable loser Roy McAvoy.
McAvoy is from West Texas in the movie. His outfits compliment that. So for all of you southerners out there reading this, why not channel your inner Roy McAvoy this fall?
You know and I know that you’re not going to be able to wear that goose down Patagonia vest, corduroy pant, and LL Bean boot combo right now. You’ve still got hot weather so fuckin’ act like it.
Here a few friendly suggestions for my friends down south who I know would wear classic fall gear if they could, but due to stifling heat simply cannot.
Pleated pants are in right now. Everyone with a brain knows that. What we have here is a classic two-toned look perfect for the course but also a few beers with the boys at the local Hooters on East Riverside in Austin. The rolled, baggy sleeves are a thing of beauty, as are the slightly baggy pleats that will absolutely be in style in the next couple of years. Wear this one on one of those nights out in the south where the temperature drops to like 70 degrees and everyone at the bar is bitching because it’s so cold out.
I’m fairly positive the producers of Tin Cup let Kevin Costner dress himself for this movie because this look is just so… him. Same pleated pants from the last picture, this time paired with a very sleeve-y polo and a tucked in sweater vest to complete the look. This look is fall as fuck. And the good news is you can buy sweater vests now that aren’t super heavy so it shouldn’t be a problem down south.
I’ll get to this outfit in a minute. But can we first just take a moment to gaze upon Dr. Molly Griswald? My word. What a specimen.
Okay, ogling time is over. Back to Costner. Pretty sure he wears the same pair of pleated khakis the entire movie but that is neither here nor there. It really doesn’t matter because the top half of this outfit is what makes it.
The white beater tucked in with a slightly oversized Hawaiian shirt. That’s a “going out” outfit ladies and gentleman. If I could pull that off, I would, but it’s looking like warm weather is finally making its way out of Chicago.
I’ll be dressed in the standard fall attire that you’d see just about anywhere else in the Midwest or East coast. LL Bean boots. Chunky knit sweaters galore. And of course some pleated khakis with a flannel lining.
This blog wasn’t for me, though. It was for all of you folks reading this in warm weather states from California to Texas to Florida. You don’t have to heed my advice and start dressing like the main character of Tin Cup.
You can continue on with your life pretending that you too will be able to wear the same kind of clothing this fall that I do but we all know that this is a lie (at least for the time being).
Give these looks a shot. I beg of you. You’ll still look slightly fall-ish with the pants on and the bright side is you probably won’t see a single inch of snow. I, on the other hand, will not be so lucky.
Oh, and if you really feel like being crazy try and channel Don Johnson’s look from the movie. What a sight.
The hair. The gray polo. The visor. Striking. Imposing. Gorgeous.
As a southerner, if you choose to take my advice you’ll styling, profiling, and humming the always classic “Save Me From Those Double Bogey Blues” before you know it. Am I saying that you have to dress like this? No. But also, yes. .
Images via HBO Now